Martin Johnson’s England elite squad was announced today and I must admit to the usual bafflement. For a start, the rules governing squads are so arcane that the whole operation seems to be random. I am still trying to work out precisely why Chris Ashton, the deserving Northampton wing, can be in the squad as a replacement for Phil Vickery, who last time I looked was definitely not a wing.
One name sprang out at me, however. Shontayne Hape, the New Zealander who plays at inside centre for Bath – or at least he has done so in the absence of the injured and grossly underrated Olly Barkley.
Is Martin Johnson tempting providence? In the last few years England have chosen two other players who came by the same route as Hape, from New Zealand via English rugby league. Henry Paul and Lesley Vainikolo were the other two adopted Kiwis and, with the best will in the world, to risk a terror treble is a gamble that may well rebound on Johnson.
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Paul at least managed to hold down a place at Gloucester although whenever he tried to step up to international level he was a fish out of water. The poor man suffered the ignominy of being hauled off after not much more than 20 minutes by Andy Robinson, then the England coach, in a match at Twickenham.
Vainikolo was clearly a decent finisher in rugby league but only the men who signed the cheques to bring him to Gloucester and England could ever put hands on heart and claim that he has been anything but a total disaster. Frankly, watching him blundering up and down the wing at Gloucester has been painful. While you wish him all the luck in the world, he is one of the most fortunate recipients of an England cap I can recall in 30 years – and my goodness that takes in a few turkeys I can tell you.
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Hape appears to be a decent player and on his day he can play a part in the defensive line. But in terms of the talent needed to play at inside centre for his country (or rather, for the country of someone else) he appears to be distinctly short. We shall see, but it really is incredible that there is the vestige of optimism and misguided analysis that suggests, flying in the face of all available evidence, that players of rugby league are any good at rugby union.
Riki Flutey of Brive, it seems, has only to stand up to return to the England team to play against Wales in February.
Spot on, Mr Referee
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The debate rages, the breakdown is still a disaster and once again we praise the great Brendan Venter of Saracens for putting all these issues back in the public domain.
I was struck forcibly today when I came across an opinion offered by Nigel Owens, the international referee.
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Owens was taking issue with one of the worst aspects of the modern game - when the ball arrives at the back of a ruck, ready to be whipped out to the backs, when a member of the team in possession stretches a foot backwards beyond the ball, ostensibly making it still part of the ruck.
While this is happening, the scrum half directs two or three forwards to plod their way to the sides of the ruck, so that they can be given possession and trudge mindlessly two yards up field to set up another ruck.
The solution to end this farce and to speed up the game has long been obvious and yet has never been tried. As soon as the ball emerges at the back of a ruck, and before anyone has had the chance to make a pretence that it is still there, the referee should scream “ball out”. This will enable the defending team to come running around to pick the ball up and faced with that threat, it will force the team in possession to act with alacrity rather than to stop the game dead.
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“One law that could make things better is that once the ball is available at the back of a ruck, it has to be used. Sometimes the ball is there and the scrum half is just waiting for players to come in and support, or for a forward to pick and go. It just slows everything down,” Owens says.
Glory be, he is quite right. If the ball is there to be played, there should be a law that dictates that it is played. Owens is the new favourite for head of rugby law, taking the place of the current incumbent, Mr Michael Mouse.
Farewell to the Wreck
Bath rugby club have been attempting to extend their ground for around 40 years. There have been so many different plans, so much agony whilst plans were strangled in red tape and so much opposition from the Charity Commissioners who administer the Recreation Ground.
You do feel sorry for Bath, although they have surely not pushed on as quickly as they might. You also have sympathy for the various pressure groups who are trying desperately to keep rugby at the Rec, with its brilliant central location on the banks of the Avon.
But last week, it appears that patience has snapped and that Bath are now actively seeking to build a new ground away from the city centre. They are absolutely right because sentiment alone is costing them millions and millions of pounds in lost revenue.
The capacity of the old stadium has been increased only by hundreds and not thousands in the past few years but it is till rickety and some of the vantage points are almost useless. Bath sell out every game and considering that they could promote their home fixtures as far west as Cornwall, as far east as Reading and as far south as Southampton, then it does give you some kind of understanding at the money they are losing.
While they have fretted and tried to get round all the obstacles, their status as one of the great clubs in Europe is in jeopardy.
They have to act now and be bold, and they absolutely have to move.
>>>>> LIST OF THE WEEK <<<<<
Moving house – the teams that must look up Pickfords in Yellow Pages.
1. Bath and the Recreation Ground
It is time, chaps. The Wreck can no longer sustain a professional rugby team and must be returned to nature.
2. Newport Gwent Dragons and Rodney Parade
Tradition is all very well, but when I went to the old place over Christmas absolutely nothing had changed in 20 years. There are improvements going on around the ground, but even if the location stays the same, the old Rodney must be consigned to history.
3. New Zealand and Eden Park
It may be too late for the next World Cup final, but I am afraid that all the improvements made to the place are merely window dressing on a broken window. The World Cup final will lack the aura of the most recent finals simply because of the lack of a backdrop.
4. Sale Sharks and Edgeley Park
Again, it is time to be bold. There was a time when sharing with Stockport County worked, but the rather dowdy air of the place is now affecting Sale’s aura as a major professional outfit.
5. Edinburgh and Murrayfield
Sport the crowd. Edinburgh must find a homely atmosphere, rather than allowing not much more than 1,000 lost souls to disappear into the vast gloom of the national stadium.
>>>>> HERO OF THE WEEK <<<<<
Bryn Williams (toastmaster)
Bryn was the red-jacketed hero who on Tuesday evening had to keep order at the Rugby Union Writers’ Dinner, easily the most fervent rugby bash that mercifully ends without an interminable auction.
The toastmaster has an impossible job: to persuade people back to their seats, to stop them wandering all over to enjoy the bonhomie and to achieve order for the speakers. Bryn, you worthy toastmaster supreme in the job from hell.