1. Send them off to a distant island. In retrospect, this seems to have worked pretty well. Although not for the French.
2. Put them in the Big Brother house. All of them. Especially if they have convictions for violent assault or murder.
3. Travelodge rooms cost from £15 a night, and Big Yellow Self-Storage can be even cheaper. This is definitely worth thinking about.
4. Stand them in corners at the Royal Academy. Chances are, people will assume that they are works of art.
5. Make them dress up as Big Bird from Sesame Street. Nobody can commit a crime when dressed up as Big Bird from Sesame Street.
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6. Send them to Germany for the World Cup. Possibly the Germans won’t notice the difference.
7. Distribute them around the public’s lofts and wall cavities, in an attempt to counteract global warming (the human body makes wonderful insulation). The prisoners could be fed and watered through hatches in the wall.
8. Bring back prison boats. (Believe it or not, this has been considered. The last British prison boat was the 400-place Weare, in Portland harbour, which opened in 1997 and closed again last year. Maybe they could commandeer one of those cruise ships that people keep getting sick on.)
9. Set up prison canoes. Less secure, obviously — an open prison version of the above.
10. Just let them escape. Oh, wait; that’s been thought of, too.