THE X FACTOR
ITV1, 6.50pm
More than 100,000 would-be stars wanted to appear on the show this time around, including 17,000 people who turned up on a single open day at Old Trafford. When Simon Cowell was asked if he enjoyed going to the auditions, he said it was like sitting in a dentist’s chair
for six months without anaesthesia. But this is a serious money-making enterprise. Asked what he will be looking for this year, Cowell replied: “Ideally, you want somebody who is not just going to sell in this country off the back of the show, but someone who is going to sell all over the world.” Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh will again join the search for the next Shayne Ward — one with euro/dollar/yen appeal.
THE HITLER FAMILY
Channel 4, 7.10pm
Hitler’s family did not measure up to the Aryan ideal that he presented to the German people. His father was a drunken bully born out of wedlock. His half-brother was a bigamist. His half-sister was described by the only documentary-maker who interviewed her as “a nobody”. He drove his niece Geli to suicide and he sent his schizophrenic cousin Aloisia to the gas chambers. His nephew William Patrick Hitler, who was born in Liverpool, first blackmailed Adolf by threatening to reveal family secrets, and later joined the US navy to fight against him. William Patrick has three sons living in the US who are the last surviving members of Hitler’s paternal bloodline. By fortune or design, none of them has children.
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WHAT MAKES US HUMAN?
Channel 4, 8.10pm
It’s the genes, stupid. Dr Armand Leroi, an evolutionary biologist, continues to explain what separates us from the apes. Alone among animals, humans are born with an instinct for language, enabling us to make the great leap forward from stone tools to mobile phones in less than 40,000 years. But the very things that make us special — language, culture and the ability to imitate one another — are also taking us away from the normal processes of evolution. It is our ability to defy biological norms (the willingness to blow ourselves up in suicide attacks, for example) that makes us different from other animals.
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Some may find Dr Leroi’s style of presentation grave to the point of ponderous, but others will be soothed by the lack of gesticulating hyperbole.
THE STORY OF LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT
BBC Two, 9.25pm
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Tonight’s episode covers the relationship between light entertainment and popular music — from The Billy Cotton Bandshow of the late 1940s all the way through to The X Factor and Pop Idol. Along the way, it offers clips and commentary on Top of the Pops, The Old Grey Whistle Test, The Tube and Later with Jools Holland. By far the most bracing and cynical contributions come from Simon Cowell, who makes no bones about the fact that pop is all about manufacturing a product. “It makes money for the record label,” he says. “It makes money for the people who own the merchandise. And if a million kids enjoy it — good luck to them. It’s as simple as that.”
BEST OF THE REST . . .
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V FESTIVAL 2006
Channel 4, 11.35pm
Highlights of today’s music festival (it’s been live on E4).
Multichannel choice
V FESTIVAL LIVE
E4, from 3pm
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V’s 135,000 tickets sold out in just three hours, so it’s a good job Channel 4 has organised its most extensive coverage yet. Today, Dave Berry presents eight hours of continuous coverage from Hylands Park, Chelmsford, where Radiohead, Kasabian, Keane, Fat Boy Slim, Echo and the Bunnymen and Girls Aloud will be performing. Tomorrow’s highlights include Morrissey, Paul Weller, Razorlight and Lily Allen (left).
MARK LAWSON TALKS TO ENGELBURT HUMPERDINK
BBC Four, 7.10pm/11.45pm
The light entertainment season continues.
JACK OSBOURNE: ADRENALINE JUNKIE II
ITV2, 9pm
Now that he’s swapped fat for fit, Ozzy’s boy sets off on a 46,000-mile worldwide tour of endurance feats. He starts off on a high with the world’s tallest bungee jump, but underestimates the gruelling Marathon des Sables.
JOHNNY CASH: THE ANTHOLOGY
Artsworld, 9pm
Alice Cooper introduces a profile of the Man in Black.
100 PER CENT YOUNG ONES WEEKEND
UKTV G2, 9pm
A week’s worth of anarchic comedies starring Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson (The Young Ones; Filthy, Rich and Catflap; Bottom) starts on Monday. Before that, enjoy the first series of Ben Elton’s seminal student sitcom.
Daytime sport
LIVE TEST CRICKET
Sky Sports 2, 10.30am
The fourth and final Test between England and Pakistan reaches its thirdday at the Brit Oval.
LIVE FORD FOOTBALL SPECIAL
Sky Sports 1, midday
With Sheffield United’s manager Neil Warnock banned from the touchline and their record signing, Claude Davis, injured, their first game in the Premiership, against Liverpool, will be an uphill struggle.
LIVE TENNIS
Sky Sports Xtra, 5pm
Day six of the ATP Cincinnati Masters. Roger Federer beat Andy Roddick in last year’s two-set final, and both were slated to start this year — will history repeat itself?
LIVE US PGA CHAMPIONSHIP GOLF
Sky Sports 2, 7pm
Phil Mickelson continues the defence of his title on day three of the last masters tournament of the year. GABRIELLE STARKEY