To cruise, or not to cruise
Fancy a bit of Bard on board? This month sees the 400th anniversary of Shakespeare’s death, and to honour the occasion, City Cruises has launched a series of themed voyages along the Thames. Thesps will entertain passengers with sonnets, sketches and a five-minute Hamlet . There’s even a montage of Will’s best insults, which should prepare you nicely for a day spent in the notoriously friendly capital.
Cruises from £11.70 ; until April 30; citycruises.com
Hastings pier reopens
To say that Hastings Pier has had a chequered history since it opened in 1872 is an understatement: bombed in the war, battered by storms, gutted by fire … Now, after residents lobbied for the 900ft landmark to come back into local ownership (let’s call it pier pressure), it’s been painstakingly restored at a cost of £14.2m and is reopening this month. Expect fairground rides, an outdoor cinema, a farmers’ market and Madness, who’ll headline the gala opening on May 21.
hpcharity.co.uk
Dawkins in the Galapagos
A trip to the spiritual home of evolutionary theory in the company of the world’s most famous atheist : it’s fair to say that the 11-day Steppes Travel Galapagos cruise hosted by Professor Richard Dawkins is not one for creationists. For the rest of us, it promises to be a belter, with the provocative author of The God Delusion escorting guests on excursions to wildlife-rich islands such as Isabela and Fernandina , as well as giving lectures on board the ship, named — what else? — MV Evolution.
From £4,995pp; steppestravel.com
http://www.steppestravel.co.uk/ Cushion the blow
It’s an invention that comes, quite literally, out of thin air. Who wants to faff around with a footpump when you can simply waft the Lamzac Hangout around your head a couple of times to inflate it, seal it off, then get down to some serious loafing? Equally good at the campsite, on the beach or in a festival field, it comes in six colours and folds away into a neat little carry bag.
Available from May; £56; fatboy.com/gb/lamzac-hangout
https://www.fatboy.com/gb/lamzac-hangout Vision of a tunnel
It’s 35 miles long, took 20 years to complete and cost £7bn, but we’re guessing the imminent opening of the Gotthard Base Tunnel is not household chat round your way. Yet it’s taken the record for the world’s longest tunnel, and if you’re travelling between Zurich and Milan by train this summer, you’ll certainly be praising this engineering marvel; not only will it shave an hour off the journey , it’ll give you serious tunnel-related bragging rights. Bit of a tunnel spotter? The rail specialist Ffestiniog Travel has a four-day trip coinciding with the June 1 opening.
From £755pp; ffestiniogtravel.com
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https://www.ffestiniogtravel.com/
Burning issue
Q. What’s the secret to returning a hire car with a full tank?
A. An art form, this one. It’s not uncommon to start obsessing about it from the start of the holiday. Sadly, this rarely extends to actually checking where the nearest petrol station to the airport is until you’re making that unedifying last-minute sprint. (Clue: it’s usually miles away.) A couple of fumes short of a full tank is usually all it takes for the car-hire company to activate its extortionate fill-up fee, so you’re going to need to be on your game. Either that or adept at siphoning. Carting a jerrycan around with you offers a fail-safe, if awkward, solution, but be warned: a container half full of flammable liquid is not the best look to be sporting in the queue for security.