But the supercleaners don’t just clean and tidy — they keep your life on track. Shrinks, hairdressers, Pilates instructors and all the other therapists that people can’t do without might know the inner dynamics of your emotional landscape/bad hair/floppy tummy, but your cleaner is the only one who really knows you. After all, who would you trust more — someone with a degree in psychology, or the person who washes your knickers? We asked four women and their cleaners to explain the secrets of their special relationship.
KATIE HILLIER AND FARIDE
The accessories designer met her cleaner, Faride, after moving to east London two years ago. Faride, who hails from Brazil, comes to her house every Friday
Katie “Cleanliness is something we all need and like. But I think fashionable people have more stuff to clean,” says Katie, who designs
for the likes of Marc Jacobs and Luella. A self-confessed obsessive-compulsive when it comes to tidying and wiping down tops, she says her high standards have met their match in Faride. “I love ironing with a passion,” Katie admits. “If I wasn’t in fashion, or if everything went belly up, I’d be a cleaner. I love doing it, but I would miss Faride like crazy.”
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Katie reckons that Faride is far too glamorous to be cleaning all the time. “She is always so happy and smiley and beautiful. She gets mad with me if we don’t have Shower Shine in the house, as it’s the only thing that cleans the bathroom the way she likes it to look.”
Faride “I do four hours a week and try to get through all the washing, cleaning and tidying,” says Faride, who is not allowed to do Katie’s ironing. “On the occasions when Katie is in the country, we sit down and have a good chat about the men in the house, and dream about where we want to go travelling.”
Faride (favourite product: Mr Muscle) teases Katie constantly about the excessive contents of her wardrobe. “She has many, many shoes and bags, and far too many clothes.” She also chastises Katie for not keeping her shoes in boxes. “It takes hours to dust her collection — and check for spiders.”
THANDIE NEWTON AND LORENA
Lorena came to the UK from the Philippines in 1998 with her British husband. She has been keeping the home sparkling for actress Newton, her husband, Ol Parker, and daughters Ripley and Nico for five years
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Thandie “A great cleaner is someone who gets a bit maternal with your stuff. Lorena does just that. She takes so much care over everything. Honestly, I would do anything for Lorena. She keeps me sane and I keep her busy.”
With two children and currently no childcare arrangements, Newton is juggling movies and motherhood, and is the first to admit her world would collapse if Lorena disappeared. “She comes every day during the week for a couple of hours to help with housework, and we talk about life, love and just about everything. After five years together, she knows me so well that things don’t have to be said. Our family is so lucky to have her. And so is my wardrobe.” What Newton has learnt from Lorena is never-ending: “About life, she has taught me resilience; about love, that it doesn’t need words; about cleaning, so much! She does these fancy corners on our sheets. And the way she stacks towels makes me moist.”
Lorena “Working for Thandie and Ol is like having a wonderful brother and sister,” says Lorena. Her hot talent is knowing exactly where every single toy in the household lives. With two children and a constant influx of their chums — and their mums — the family kitchen-meets-playroom gets a severe battering on a daily basis, and demands particular skill to navigate it. “I don’t trust anyone else to tidy it, ” says Lorena. “Apart from Thandie, of course. She and I have devised a highly complex yet ordered method of storage.”
A demon ironer, Lorena can work through a pile of washing quicker than a professional laundrette. “Thandie is never fussy, but she has extremely high standards,” she says of her Bafta-nominated boss. “And so she should. Her eye for style is so eclectic and so chic. She has some amazing disco slippers by Georgina Goodman that I adore.”
BELLA FREUD AND DOLLY
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The fashion designer met her cleaner, Dolly, five years ago, just before giving birth to her son, Jimmy. Dolly has become an indispensable part of Freud’s life
Bella “Dolly is like the magical housewife in Bewitched: she comes in, twinkles her duster and the house is miraculously immaculate. I totally count her as one of the family. Every weekday, she arrives at the house and spends a few hours cleaning, and on the days when I’m working, she’ll collect Jimmy from school.”
Bella, who admits to occasionally wiping the table and filling the dishwasher as her contribution to the housework, first employed a cleaner when she was 19. “You learn so much about life from your cleaner. Dolly has taught me to always be straightforward and get to the point, and never to expect people to mind-read, as it is just a way to avoid taking responsibility. We all adore Dolly, especially Jimmy. I try to look after her and make her feel special as much as I can. She has so much energy and is always upbeat and supportive.”
Dolly “It’s very democratic working for Bella. I love her to bits and she is a wonderful boss. She is always giving me little goodies from her wardrobe. She goes to a lot of fashionable parties, and I am always the first person to be asked if I would like something she might be chucking out. She’s given me lots of gorgeous handbags and make-up, and endless treats, but my favourite is a dog jumper she designed herself. I wear it all the time. Lots of make-up gets passed on to me, and Bella always introduces me to her fashionable friends. Most of the time I’m too busy cleaning, and get a bit shy, but they always chat to me and are so friendly. One of her friends recently appeared in funny fake-fur monster boots, which gave me the giggles, so I had to hide my laughing in the dishwasher. Bella leads such an interesting life. It’s never a dull moment. And I think I must be the best-dressed cleaner in town.”
MANDI LENNARD AND NOVA
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Nova, who was recommended to Lennard by a friend, studied fashion and is a knitwear designer. Her job with the London fashion PR also involves doing the cleaning
Mandi “Nova is a sparkling person who embraces life. Her energy is contagious, although it gets a bit much when electronica blasts from her mobile. She’s up for anything, so will willingly help us out with cleaning. She also does everything from creating installations for our fashion-week parties to contributing to our brainstorming sessions.
“Her cleaning skills are quite extraordinary — she really does get down on her hands and knees to scrub any marks off the floor, and is so fast. She’s terribly creative, too — she recently cleaned the kitchen where we store all our footwear samples, and she’d made little drawings of each style on all the shoe boxes. I’m quite fussy about the way things are looked after in the showroom. The Planet of the Apes vintage poster collection has to be dusted and straightened on a daily basis, and there’s serious trouble if my 1970s record player gets forgotten. Sometimes, Nova and I clean the place together. We get the Marigolds on and give it a good mop. I don’t think of Nova as my cleaner. She’s my right-hand girl. She’s moptastic!”
Nova “Mandi is great fun to work with,” says the DJ-cum-knitter- cum-showroom-cleaner, who admits to gaining a deep sense of peace from a good cleaning session. “It’s extremely settling and brings me back down to earth, especially if I’ve been DJing the night before,” she says.
“It’s much more fun having a fashionable mistress for a boss, as we get to do stuff like emulate the Comme des Garçons showrooms by endlessly dusting the rails and making sure the clothes hangers are obsessively equal distances apart.
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“I wouldn’t say it’s high-maintenance work, but there’s quite a lot of stuff in the showroom that needs special attention. There’s a glass meeting table that’s in constant need of a polish. I broke a vintage lipstick mirror by mistake, and Mandi was supercool about it. She just got one of her clients to turn it into part of an installation. The only place that’s off limits is Mandi’s desk. Nobody except her is allowed to touch it. I admire that kind of perfectionism in a boss.”
A version of this article will appear in Rubbish magazine, which launches in association with Miss Selfridge during this London Fashion Week; www.rubbishmag.com. For stockists, call Art Data; 020 8747 1061