The news this week that people who don’t even possess a debit card – known to BUPA surgeons as “NHS patients” – can book themselves in for cosmetic procedures via the same mail-order catalogue that they get their baseball caps, socks and panties from has outraged the members of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS).
Even though the treatments on offer on tick – such as dermabrasion and collagen lip injections – don’t involve any cutting and stitching, the association feels that all types of cosmetic procedure should be entered into reverently and soberly after a period of quiet reflection rather than ordered on a whim and paid off in monthly instalments.
Grattans, the catalogue people, and Transform, the cosmetic surgery provider in question, argue that all they are aiming to do is to bring their products and services to a wider audience.
No matter how a patient is referred, they insist that everybody from chav to contessa will receive the same high standard of counselling, treatment and aftercare.
The chaps in three-piece suits and bow-ties from the BAAPS are obviously concerned that this represents the thin end of the wedge, and that their clients will soon be seduced by offers of discount liposuction from Littlewoods, facelifts from Freemans and nose jobs from Next.
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But where should we draw the line between fashion and medicine? I’ve seen people who really should have received counselling before they opted for their current hairstyle and who would undoubtedly benefit from a few sessions with a posttraumatic stress expert while their Burberry-patterned highlights grow out.
So let’s not get too het up about noninvasive stuff such as chemical peels, trout pout injections, dental bleaching and thread vein injections. If you want to give any or all of them a try, that’s fine by me, grab your chequebook and go ahead.
But if you’re considering anything involving scalpels, silicon or stomach staples, I would suggest that you book a slot with your GP to talk over the pros and cons and get a steer towards a competent surgeon. He or she will almost certainly be a fully paid-up member of the BAAPS or something very similar.
Dr Copperfield is an Essex GP. He also writes for Doctor magazine