Theresa May had been preparing hard for her debut appearance before the liaison committee. The toughest inquisitors in the Commons would not be fobbed off with old clichés. No, the prime minister needed new clichés.
So yesterday morning’s cabinet was cancelled, her diary cleared and Mrs May locked herself away with a hot towel over her head and the soothing voice of Geoffrey Boycott, her stonewalling mentor, who was describing the England cricket team’s collapse in Madras.
“Brexit means Brexit” is old hat, but Mrs May had some other hats. “Negotiations are negotiations” she told the committee when asked how it is all going in Europe. “You’ll see what we publish when we publish it,” she added later.
I wonder if this strategy had been forged at an early age. Sitting in the front pew of her father’s parish church, listening to him give a sermon on Exodus, did the young Ms Brasier, as was, hear God tell an inquiring Moses “I am that I am” and think, “There’s a politician hiding in that burning bush”?
The liaison committee is a twice-yearly ordeal. The prime minister versus a supergroup made up of the chairmen and women of all the select committees. Think of it as a parliamentary version of the Traveling Wilburys. With Andrew Tyrie as Bob Dylan and Hilary Benn as Roy Orbison.
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“I’m not going to give a running commentary on Brexit,” Mrs May told Mr Tyrie, right from the outset. “Except perhaps before us,” he suggested. “I expect some searching questions,” she replied. Then I think I heard her mutter,“but don’t expect any answers”.
So when Mr Benn asked about when she would publish her plan for negotiation and if parliament would have time to discuss it before Article 50 was triggered, Mrs May presented a Boycottian bat. “It is not for me to set out a period of time,” she said.
At this Yvette Cooper, the new chairman of the home affairs committee, looked astonished. Her eyes stood out on stalks. If it’s not for the PM to decide if parliament has time to scrutinise her deal, whose responsibility is it?
Mr Benn persisted. Jabbing his finger, he asked whether MPs will be able to vote on the fruits of her negotiation. “Yes or no?” he asked. “Parliament will have ample opportunity to discuss it,” she evaded. “I’m not sure why it’s so difficult to answer,” Mr Benn said.
Ms Cooper had as little joy when she asked about migration targets. The prime minister gave some flannel about wanting the “best possible deal”, although obviously whatever deal she gets will be the best one possible even if it is lousy.
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“You’ve said that many times,” Ms Cooper said, never knowingly undersnippy. “And I’ll repeat it,” Mrs May snapped back. Ms Cooper’s eyebrows shot to the roof of her head. “You refuse to answer my questions and seem to have a tone of contempt,” she said. Mrs May’s gaze said: “You betcha.”
Mr Tyrie then tried to press the PM about that final Brexit vote. “I think I’m hearing a no,” he said. “No running commentary,” she replied. “For my part, I did not hear a yes,” he tried again. “Is it yes or no?” Mrs May returned to the burning bush. “I gave the answer that I gave,” she said.
After she had left, I asked one of the chairmen if he had found the session illuminating. He gave a pained expression. “Only in the way that light can permeate a fog,” he replied. They’ll call that a win in Downing Street.