It disintegrated because of the nonsensical torrent of replacements fracturing the flow and teamwork, and we still wait in vain for the International Rugby Board to do anything about it. It was also devalued by the rapacious financial acquisitiveness that pits tired and denuded touring sides against fresh home teams in what is becoming a dreary procession.
We also had the nightmare of unopposed scrums as both Julian White, with a neck injury, and Graham Rowntree, with concussion, were unable to play in the second half. Anyone who wants to depower the scrum has to reckon with the havoc that unopposed scrums cause to rugby and also with the sight of two gangs of giants pussyfooting around at the put-in.
Naturally, Australia will be delighted to come out so far ahead. Yet although there were genuine pedigree moments laced into their own mediocrity, unless they improve dramatically they will be eaten alive in the bloated Tri-Nations event to come and, conceivably, even by Ireland in Perth on Saturday.
Where this leaves England is almost impossible to say. They were so lacking in physicality that backs like Tom Varndell, Mathew Tait and Jamie Noon were simply picked up and thrown into touch. Furthermore, England were driven off the ball in the loose and, staggeringly, even in some of the scrums. They coughed up the ball readily, defended shakily and their own errors played a massive part in at least five of the Australian tries.
Perhaps most chilling of all, everything was set up for their much-vaunted back division to play its much-vaunted new style and, indeed, England had 68% of the possession in the first half. And nothing happened. They were impossibly disjointed, an erratic back three hardly made a connection all day and it was left to poor Andy Goode to try to prompt in vain.
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England’s performance therefore amounted to some vaguely praiseworthy resistance, and to some fine individual performances. George Chuter was lively up front, Ben Kay continued his revival and Chris Jones, England’s player of the day, performed wonders in the lineout, ran and handled superbly, and made an utter nonsense of his non-selection for so long.
The verdict on this tour will be damning. It is appropriate to applaud the fact that a fresh coaching team has arrived on the scene and inappropriate to attack Brian Ashton and Mike Ford, even though the attacking and defensive units have malfunctioned. They will be dealing with bigger and better players come the new season. But though it is difficult to criticise young men in losing teams, the likes of Iain Balshaw, Varndell and Tait had both the chances and space, yet failed to capitalise. Furthermore, Robinson’s anxiety to choose all- purpose players is developing a team without specialists. In future, his teams must be more physical, more specialist and, as a matter of extreme urgency, more successful. England’s run of five consecutive defeats is their worst for 22 years.
England came out full of attacking intent but the youthful ambition was never to be met by execution as they wasted early space, forcing Goode to drop back into the pocket to kick a drop goal.
Then came the first of a procession of tries on a plate. Steve Larkham took a flat pass and although his chip ahead ricocheted away, the loose ball was tapped through by George Smith, struck Varndell, and Smith gratefully collected the rebound to trot on and score.
The gifts continued. After England gave away the ball, Larkham chipped high to the corner and Mark Gerrard leapt high above Tait to score.
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It then started to be embarrassing. Australia had been woefully disjointed in the first half and another move was meandering across the field when Sam Cordingley passed to Chris Latham. The splendid full-back had a look, accelerated through some shocking defending in which both England flankers were implicated, and made an easy try for Lote Tuqiri: 19-6. England returned prop-less for the second half, their back division travails continued and two sharp inside passes from Larkham fuelled a move that ended with Mark Chisholm scoring. Yet with Chuter bursting away with a flourishing dummy and running on to score, England trailed only 26-11 after the third quarter.
It would have been unfair, however, had Australia not broken clear by miles. Their own incoherence up front and greedy play behind the scrum cost them at least three tries in the second half, but the killing scores soon came. Gerrard scored after electric inter-passing with Larkham, then Tuqiri and Cameron Shepherd struck from deep to put Larkham over.
England had the last word, even if it was practically their only word. Nick Walshe broke clear but was hunted down by Gregan. But England retained the ball, for once moved it crisply and Varndell crossed down the right. It added respectability, but could not banish the verdict that this tour proved very little. Except, perhaps, that the glory of international rugby shouldn’t be taken for granted.
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STAR MAN: Chris Latham (Australia)
Australia: C Latham (C Shepherd 70min); M Gerrard, S Mortlock (capt), M Rogers (C Rathbone 68min), L Tuqiri; S Larkham, S Cordingley (G Gregan 56min); G Holmes (P Waugh 60min), A Freier (J Paul h-t), R Blake (A Baxter 25min), N Sharpe, D Vickerman, M Chisholm, R Elsom (W Palu 32-40min, 67min), G Smith
England: I Balshaw; T Varndell, J Noon, M Catt (O Barkley 71min), M Tait (S Abbott 54min); A Goode, P Richards; G Rowntree (T Payne h-t), G Chuter, J White (M Lund h-t, L Mears 70min), C Jones, B Kay, J Worsley, P Sanderson (capt), M Lipman (N Walshe 77min)
Referee: Steve Walsh (New Zealand).