It's not really stealing, is it? The people who run hotels almost expect you to pocket those dinky little bottles of designer shower gel and shampoo that they leave invitingly in the shower, don't they?
Well, be warned: those of us - I mean, those of you - whose bathrooms are stocked exclusively with the spoils of hotel stays will need to restrain themselves when visiting Dean Street Townhouse.
The latest branch of the Soho House group's burgeoning empire, it has just opened in London, with Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin among the first guests. Right in the middle of Soho, the Georgian pile was formerly the Gargoyle Club and latterly part of a bland pub chain.
Now, after a £10m refit, it has 39 rooms, from "tiny" crash pads (160 sq ft) to "bigger" rooms with roll-top baths (460 sq ft). With prices starting at £95 for the tiddlers, the idea is that you can stay here and still have plenty of money to spend on your night on the town.
Back to that warning. There were 14 huge bottles of posh Cowshed products in my room, from shampoos and massage oils to body lotions and energising scrubs. That's more than £200 worth of unguent. I wished I'd brought a bigger bag. All of a sudden, the "tiny" rooms seemed outstanding value, especially at this time of year. At a stroke, Christmas presents for every female member of my family were taken care of.
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Or not. There was a catch. The killjoy small print says that you'll be charged for whatever you remove (they sell the full range at reception), so you'll just have to spend extra-long in the rainforest showers to make use of them all.
Showers aside, would you even want to stay right in the middle of Soho, even if it is for less than £100 a night? Well, those tiny rooms are actually rather fun. Sure, there's not a whole lot of space around the king-size bed, but they're undoubtedly great value. Ask for one that faces away from Dean Street, though - it can be noisy.
Decor-wise, in the rooms, and downstairs in the restaurant and bar, the feel is one part chintz to two parts chic, as if someone had broken into your mum's house, graffitied over that picture of you in your school uniform and left a collection of modish trinkets about the place.
You have chaises longues, four-posters and floral wallpaper, but there are also bespoke, Soho-centric artworks by YBAs such as Gavin Turk, Tracey Emin and Damien Hirst, and a Brit music policy - curated by Dave Hill, boss of Nuphonic records - with a revolving 20 hours of belters and rarities.
The menu is full of traditional dishes such as pheasant, fish and chips, pork belly and minced beef with boiled potatoes. That last one is the signature dish, so I was told, and the hope is that it becomes as noted as the Ivy's shepherd's pie.
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I tried it and it won't. While it was perfectly nice, I couldn't shake the feeling that it was 1943, and we were just months away from gruel. Nothing with the words "boiled potatoes" involved is ever going to be sexy. Still, the smoked-haddock soufflé starter was a corker, all soft and cuddly.
Like the bedrooms, in fact. Dean Street Townhouse is the sort of place that's designed for naughtiness. As long as you ignore the boiled potatoes, it's a perfect addition to the Soho village.
Dean Street Townhouse; 020 7434 1775, deanstreettownhouse.com; doubles from £95 up to £340, room only.
Low cost, high style: four more
Fox & Anchor, Smithfield, EC1 Staying in "rooms above a pub" doesn't have an awfully glamorous ring to it, but the Fox & Anchor is no ordinary pub. It's a personal project of the MWB crew (which owns Hotel du Vin and Malmaison), and it feels as if money was no object in its conception: it has claw-foot baths, Miller Harris bathroom smellies, Bose stereos - even a private terrace with the Market Suite.
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The pub downstairs is a civilised gastro affair, so noise rarely rises above a polite murmur (although there's live jazz on a Sunday). The location will suit smarty-pants: near the Barbican, the Museum of London and Smithfield Market.
Weekend doubles from £95; 0845 347 0100, foxandanchor.com
40 Winks, Stepney Green, E1 Take That's Mark Owen has been in the copper bathtub, while Orlando Bloom preferred the chaise longue in this Georgian townhouse turned hotel. That's because 40 Winks is also a sumptuous shoot location, decorated by dandy designer David Carter.
Only two of the house's rooms, both on the top floor, are open to guests: a single space in black-and-white Regency stripes, with views of the courtyard garden; and a double with bare wood floors, vintage trunks, an antique mannequin and double sash windows.
Double room £95, single £65 (rooms share a bathroom); 020 7790 0259, 40winks.org
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Bermondsey Square Hotel, SE1 It's not a neighbourhood you'd usually consider for a first trip to London, but this new spot is just a few minutes' walk from the Tower of London, Borough Market and the Design Museum.
The modern-build hotel claims to be 1960s-influenced, but prepare yourself for childish bold colours and prints, rather than genuine retro styling: the Jude loft room, is all pink, while the Lucy suite is monochrome, with Sgt Pepper LPs on the wall.
Doubles from £99; 0870 111 2525, bermondseysquarehotel.co.uk
The Hoxton, EC2 So crucial to the neighbourhood is the Hoxton, you might say there was an era before and after the hotel. Formerly, out-all-night party people and trendy ad execs wanting to stay in the Shoreditch/Hoxton area had a lone chain hotel to choose from.
Then the opening of the Hoxton brought 205 bedrooms to EC2, each with corporate-cool decor: exposed brick, drench showers, flatscreen TVs and a grey-on-red palette. It's a bargain, too, with friendly add-ons such as free WiFi and Pret A Manger breakfast, cheap phone calls and regular offers of rooms for a pound.
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Doubles from £79; 020 7550 1000, hoxtonhotels.com