Should parents have the ‘right to know’?

Under 16: too young to smoke, drink, vote, watch X-rated movies, drive a car, even get married... yet old enough to request contraception, emergency contraception and arrange an abortion without the knowledge or guidance of her parents if she so wishes. Why? The Government seems to think that the end justifies the means: contraception is preferable to underage pregnancy; abortion preferable to underage childbirth. Yet the truth of the matter is that it is indeed a vicious circle with the means promoting the end it is trying to defeat. The amoral sex education provided in schools to ever younger children; the advertisement of confidential contraceptive and abortion services to children under 16, is a major cause of teenage promiscuity and irresponsibility. And not allowing parents any say in the matter too only serves to extend that irresponsibility to the older generation. Can’t the Government see that the current strategy is not only immoral, it isn’t working? Anne Ince-Vize, London

Excellent decision by the judges. Anyone who needs to be told by a third party that their daughter is pregnant has failed as a parent. Adam Carpenter, London

If, to have an abortion under the age of 16 requires parental consent, then that implies that consent could be denied, thus forcing a child to be pregnant, give birth and become a mother. If someone has reached the age where they are ready to have sex (and this is different for everyone - people don’t suddenly switch from not being ready to being ready overnight as they turn 16), then they should be allowed to deal with that aspect of their lives however they see fit. Katie Majerski, Rochdale

An absolutely ridiculous result. Pregnancy is precisely the occasion when a child would need the love and support of her parents and family, even a naturally disappointed family. But no, some stranger who they do not know is to “counsel” them at this time. Ridiculous. By the way, something like 500 abortions a day are carried out in the UK - even if you are an advocate of abortion (and I’m most definitely not), that should ring alarm bells I would have thought. Antony Newman, London

I suspect a change in the law would have trebled the suicide rate among teenage girls. When counselling a teenager who requests a termination of pregnancy a GP will always encourage her to tell her mother, a older sister or an adult she can trust. Many girls have a good relationship with their parents and have their full support in the decision. Sadly other girls do not have this kind of parental support and it is for these girls that the law should continue to allow medical practitioners to treat them with complete confidentiality. I dread to think how the teenage daughter of any of the above contributors might feel if she found herself pregnant. LM, GP in the South West

Another pantomime horse? When the government is proposing to spend significant sums on “respect”, it had better target the judiciary. This totally perverse judgement shows utter contempt for the role of parents and brings itself into disrepute. I strongly advocate the separation of the judiciary from the executive; their independence should not be squandered in such a shameful manner. David Strange, Sevenoaks

I am surprised to find that the online discussion of the Axon case is largely strongly against the High Court decision, though on closer inspection I am not surprised that most of the opinions come from concerned parents. But they are based, I think, on a failure to recognise who this law is designed to protect. All the children of these loving, caring parents are incredibly fortunate, and they can hope that their attitudes will encourage their 15-year-old daughters to inform them of their pregnancies or contraception worries voluntarily. This decision, however, should be celebrated as a fundamental protection for abused and neglected girls who can only find the confidential and supportive advice they need in a professional, and not a parent. Until we solve the problem of sexual, physical and mental abuse of children at the hands of their parents or guardians, we cannot allow medical workers to break the confidentiality agreement. Valerie Gordon, Oxford

As a specialist midwife working in the field of both midwifery and substance misuse i can only feel relief that this woman lost her case. It would be disastrous to take away confidentiality to young people in regards to their sexual and reproductive health. of-course in the real world we imagine our teenagers would come to us with their intimate most secrets. But what if they wont, what if they can’t. a least thanks to government policy and the professionalism of the staff within the sexual health service, these young people with a difficult decision to make have somewhere safe to access for advise. Sheena Prentice, Nottingham

I know that parents understandably feel as if they ought to be informed. However, the legal system exists as it does, in order to act as a third party between two diametrically opposed interests, and usually has to take into account multiple competing factors. The interest that parents have in being informed of a proposed abortion is just one of those factors. Let us not forget that a doctor still has the option to tell a child that he or she is unwilling to proceed without first having obtained parental consent. Andrew Burtenshaw, Hull

It seems that both the Government and the courts are too focused on the problem of young girls becoming pregnant and not enough on the other harms which may result from under-age sex. The fact is sex is not a consequence-free lifestyle choice and neither is abortion. The harm that this decision is meant to prevent is outweighed by other harms about which the courts seem to show no concern. It may be best for a few but for many others it will be profoundly damaging. Pauline Gately, Weybridge

As a teenage girl, I personally would inform my parents if I became pregnant and was considering an abortion, and I hope I am in the majority there. However, the decision to tell parents should remain the girl’s choice, as it is a decision that primarily affects her future, and the baby’s, not that of the parents. Furthermore, if a girl does not want to tell her parents there may well be a good reason for this, and it suggests that the parent-child relationship is not very good in the first place. Name and address withheld

It is a sad fact, especially in American culture, that a girl under the age of 16 having any kind of sexual experience is vehemently frowned upon. It is this prevalent social attitude that has driven every back-alley abortion ever performed. This attitude has never gone away and until this attitude is completely eradicated the need for a minor to obtain sexually related medical procedures or advice will remain valid and necessary. Sylvia McGee, California, USA

For a very long time, people in this country have been complaining about breakdown of families and lack of neighbourly spirit. In my opinion that is a result of socialism of the 60’s and 70’s where the traditional responsibility of looking after children, old people and the sick has been taken away from the families and the neighbourhood community and transferred to social workers and their likes. When a child is ill who can provide emotional and physical comfort, a parent or a professional worker? After an abortion the need for emotional and physical comfort is even more. Vinay Mehra, Purley

I am amazed by the lack of awareness shown by some of your correspondents. At 15, I was sexually assaulted by a family friend. I sought, and obtained, an abortion. No member of my family has ever been aware of this. Had my mother known the position, I have no doubt whatsoever that - despite the circumstances which led to my pregnancy - she would have forced me to keep the baby. And when I say “forced”, I mean “forced” - imprisonment, threats, violence. (Incidentally, I should mention that my family are English born and bred - sadly, parental behaviour of this unpleasant type is not restricted to the impoverished ethnic minorities usually blamed for it.) I now have a family of my own, and every day I give thanks for the freedom I had, at 15, to have an abortion. I have never regretted my decision. I give endless thanks, instead, for my great good fortune in living in a state which was liberal enough to put my life, and my freedom, over my mother’s violent desire to control my body. Parents, if you want to know if your teenage daughter is seeking an abortion, there’s an easy solution. Be the sort of parent who a daughter comes to for advice. Believe me, any child in that position will be absolutely desperate for support and help - so whatever sort of parent are you if she doesn’t come to you? Please don’t seek to rely on the courts to put right your parental inadequacies. Name and address withheld

It is not up to the judiciary to make the laws, but to interpret them. It is up to Parliament to draft laws, discuss, and pass them. How pathetic that our MP’s, so many of whom are supposed to be intelligent, and many of whom are trained barristers themselves, could not have framed the legislation in such a way as to avoid any confusion. The solution now would be to amend the law so as to give back to parents the rights they need to carry out their responsibilities. Concerned parents should write to their MP’s and make their views clear on this matter. James Breen, Finstock

An anonymous person [see below] says that “one or two benighted parents might try to injure their pregnant daughter, but that is a separate issue” Unfortunately it is likely that more than “one or two” parents don’t have the best interests of their daughter at heart, and it is these girls that the current law protects. It is up to the parent to provide consistent assurance throughout the upbringing of their child that they love them no matter what, as children secure of their parents’ support are more likely to confide in them. It is similarly up to the law to protect those children who do not have that support. Sarah Mitcham

Parents seem to have forgotten that it is actually their duty to ensure that their children are able to talk to them about this kind of thing so that they don’t have to go behind their backs. If parents do not keep the lines of communication open and allow their children to discuss such matters with them, then their children will be forced to have sex or abortions etc without consulting their parent. Not ensuring a good relationship with one’s offspring is the failing of the parent and a child should not have to face negative consequences because the parent has not fulfilled his/her duty in that way. Lola Adesioye, Johannesburg, South Africa

A dentist cannot extract a tooth without a parent’s permission, yet a doctor can perform an abortion. What kind of logic makes an extraction more serious than an abortion? Aidan Twomey, London

I think that in a very sophisticated society (e.g. Sweden) you might argue that parents should not have the right to know - largely because there isn’t a problem. However, if anyone believes that UK society can presently be described in this way then they need a trip to the funny farm. Based on numerous surveys undertaken over the past few years it seems clear that UK teen-teenagers are amongst the least educated, the most obese, the most violent, the most criminally minded, the most permissive, and the most prone to alcoholism and drugs, in the world (let alone the developed world). When you have a significant minority of a certain section of a population who behave like this you cannot allow them to make any kind of informed choice on their own, or worse, leave them to the mercy of so-called professionals who are all too often just mouthpieces for numerous hair-brained social philosophies. The only answer for the UK at present is to ensure that the parents are informed. We have taken silly ideas about human rights, that should never have escaped from University discussion groups, and are using them to destroy the foundations of our society. Derek Sinclair, Dundee



The Prime Minister, rightly, makes much of the need to balance rights and responsibilities. But this clearly doesn’t apply to parents. The decision to deny parents the right even to know about the abortions of their under-age daughters is just the latest example of the systematic removal of any ability of parents to control the behaviour of their children. And we wonder why respect for others, and the associated standards of behaviour are at an all-time low. Paul Cresswell, Buckingham

I don’t know of one friend who has had an abortion who has not regretted it later in her life and who has not suffered depression over her decision. How much more then would an abortion affect a young girl in her teens.

Parents have every right and duty to know. Mary Rimmer, Encinitas, USA

So parents are responsible for everything in relation to their children, their education or even the damage they cause, such as burning cars. However, when it comes to abortion they have no responsibilities? The Government keeps on sending mixed messages. On the one hand they want to make parents more responsible for their children, on the other the state takes away all their responsibility. Fernando Diaz Soto, Glasgow

This is rather like the judge allowing a child under 16 to drive the family car, making no allowance for the experience or judgement of the child concerned, without their parents knowledge or permission. What would happen if there was an accident? Is the child responsible? Will the judge take responsibility, sort out the damage and pay for the repairs? Does the local GP or social services office step in and say “OK, leave it to us”? That is the ridiculous situation this decision has created. If the child suffers psychological trauma following an abortion that the parents had no say in, are the judiciary standing by to take over? If a GP puts a young child on the pill who then fails to take it correctly and becomes pregnant, all without the knowledge of her family who were unaware that she was sexually active, does the GP assume parental responsibility? The main criteria that this judge should have applied in this case should have been: whatever way he was going to make a judgement, who will be responsible for the child - 24 hours a day, seven days a week - if the consequences of his decision result in a failed situation? Tom Edwards, Bromley

This is an abhorrent decision. My wife and I brought our children into this world; we love them dearly and would do anything for them. We feel our responsibility for them in every way. I realise that we may not be representative of absolutely everybody but I do not think that we are in a minority either. It is utterly ludicrous that a third party should be allowed to even counsel them, never mind treat them, on matters of such huge physical and moral importance without at least our knowledge, let alone my consent. The world is going, or frankly has gone, mad. If these are the kind of measures which it is believed are required to “protect” our children something is deeply wrong with our society. Richard Bell, Crowborough

I think that although in an ideal world it would be best for young girls to seek the advice of their parents before the put themselves through something as serious as an abortion, we must remember that girls who ask for abortions come from all sorts of backgrounds and cultures, and some parents would be more understanding than others. I fear that if parents had the right to know about their daughter’s sexual history, it may deter girls from going to see doctors in the first place as they’d not be entitled to confidentiality, which may in turn up the frequency of STDs affecting young people. Ola Marki, Paris, France

This is yet another case of the judiciary failing parents and hastening a time when all control and authority over children still lawfully under age, is lost. I can think of many situations where children under the age of 16 are so inexperienced and completely unprepared that to leave a decision solely in their hands is disastrous; pregnancy and abortion are just two examples. For the judge to base his judgement on the his assessment of a likely outcome - should a girl be able to find and seek the assistance of an “unofficial abortionist” - suggests incompetence of the highest order. Putting aside all issues of morality, it is stupid to remove the authority and responsibility that a parent has for their young child, assuming that the correct decision for the circumstances is best left in the hands of a bewildered and frightened youngster rather than someone who has brought her into the world, cared for her, loved and protected her. Even if some parents fail to act correctly in such circumstances, unless the parent/child relationship has broken down, I guarantee that appropriate action is more likely to be taken in discussion with the family than by a young child deciding alone with only the advice of people outside the family. Keith Downer, London

This question shouldn’t be phrased in terms of “rights”. It is simply a parent’s duty to look after their child at all times, whether that child is sitting exams, thieving or having any sort of medical procedure. How can we prosecute parents whose children play truant if we then turn round and exclude them when their children need them the most? I am aware that one or two benighted parents might try to injure their pregnant daughter, but that is a separate issue and is not resolved by removing the parental responsibilities of the majority. Name and address withheld

“Honour Thy Father and Mother” says the fifth commandment but the judges say that this could lead to a decision which the child “later regrets”. This is nothing more that a ousting of God-given parental rights in favour of the state, based on reasoning which seems to spring more from atheist communist ideology than any wholesome notion of human dignity or respect. Its clear from the decision that the judges are determined to view all parents as potential criminals and to be deprived of their rights on that possibility. This is a prime example of why law-making should be removed from the incapable and incompetent hands of the judiciary and given back to the body who were elected to do that task. Charles Byrnell, Fleet

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