15, 103mins
Anand Tucker’s chilly romance Shopgirl is a grim travesty. Steve Martin is the iron-haired grandfather who plays with the affections of a lonely shop assistant, Claire Danes, who is desperate for love. I have rarely seen an actor more determined to wrap his career around a lamppost.
Danes has to choose between Martin’s super-rich businessman, who flies around the world in a private jet for reasons entirely absent in the plot and a hairy nerd (Jason Schwartman), who hasn’t got a nickel to his name. The drama is teed up by a quivering orchestra of over-emotional violins.
Will Martin give up his lonely privileged solitude and commit himself to the desperately deluded Danes, or will he continue a life of selfish isolation? It’s impossible to care. At 103 lengthy minutes, the film is wildly over-stretched.