1 Theresa May confessed this week to the “naughtiest thing” she had ever done. Was it:
a) Feeding someone else’s cat.
b) Running through a farmer’s field.
c) Living with someone at university who forgot to renew their TV licence.
d) Ostensibly backing Remain but staying hidden during the campaign, then exploiting Brexit to rise to power before calling an unnecessary general election.
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2 Match the figure to the disastrous radio interview that hinged on it.
a) £30.
b) “It’s less than £9 . . . it’s, er, £6?”
c) “It will cost . . . erm . . . it will obviously cost a lot.”
d) 6.8p:
I) Cost of free childcare for 1.3 million children according to Jeremy Corbyn.
II) Cost of child’s breakfast according to Theresa May.
III) Andrew Mitchell on the minimum wage.
IV) Cost of annual police officer’s salary according to Diane Abbott.
3 Theresa May has been accused of giving robotic, repetitive and empty answers. Do you agree? Match the question she was asked to the answer she gave.
a) “Whenever people ask you about policy all we get are clichés and platitudes. Where is the £8 billion [for the NHS] coming from?”
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b) “Two visits in six weeks to one of the country’s most marginal constituencies [Plymouth] — are you getting worried?”
c) “If you win the election what word would you add to ‘strong and stable’?”
d) “Do you know what a mugwump is?”
I) “What I recognise is that what we need in this country is strong and stable leadership.”
II) “Gosh, there are two words that come to mind. One is ‘determined’. The other is ‘optimistic’.”
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III)”I’m very clear that this is a crucial election for the country.”
IV) “What we have published is a manifesto that addresses the big challenges this country faces.”
4 Why does Ukip’s manifesto state the party wants to ban burkas?
a) “Even Bono has admitted” they are socially divisive.
b) They allow men to sneak into women’s changing rooms.
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c) Women could use them to smuggle drugs.
d) Women wearing them do not receive enough sunlight to produce vitamin D.
5 What was the Conservatives’ poll lead over Labour (according to YouGov):
a) When the election was called.
b) Today.
(Three points for each if a or b are exact, two points if within one percentage point margin, one point if within three percentage points either side.)
6 If he ever had to enter Brexit talks, Mr Corbyn would, according to Mrs May, be:
a) Alone and naked.
b) A mutton-headed mugwump.
c) Experiencing the only serious negotiation of his life not related to allotments.
d) Torn to pieces.
7 Which one of the following was not a way that John McDonnell demonstrated his economic competence during the campaign as a chancellor in waiting?
a) He spoke at a rally in front of the hammer and sickle.
b) He praised Karl Marx, stating “there is a lot to learn” from reading Das Kapital.
c) He brandished and then quoted from Chairman Mao’s little red book.
d) He was accused of having to google the deficit figure during a radio interview.
8 Which two of the four reasons below were given for Mrs May not attending the leaders’ debate?
a) She was engaging with voters about the issues that matter, not swapping soundbites with six other politicians.
b) She was concentrating on running the country and providing strong and stable leadership.
c) She was spending the time thinking about Brexit negotiations.
d) She was concerned that an inability to answer a straight question without using the words “strong and stable” would unfairly sway voters against her.
9 Lord Ashcroft, the pollster, asked a focus group what jobs the party leaders would be doing if they weren’t in politics. Match the answers to the leader (two answers each for Mrs May, Mr Corbyn, Tim Farron, Ruth Davidson and Nicola Sturgeon, a point for each correct answer):
a) “A PE teacher.”
b) “A vicar.”
c) “A prison warder. She’s firm enough, you know what I mean? Nobody’s going to mess with her.”
d) “Some non-existent job.”
e) “Corbyn’s boss, as headmistress. It would be very disciplined. She’d be like Miss Hardbroom in The Worst Witch”
f) “I can see her in a high-end department store.”
g) “Human rights. Something in human rights.”
h) “A nurse — a matron, if they still exist.”
i) “A bus driver.”
j) “Maybe a gap year.”
10 Name two manifesto policies for Labour, Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats, and also for the SNP if you’re in Scotland. One point for each.
ANSWERS:
1 b.
2 a — IV, b — III, c — I, d — II.
3a — IV, b — III, c — II, d — I.
4 d (Bono was invoked for a different section on aid).
5 a 24, b 7.
6 a.
7 c (he quoted from Mao in 2015).
8 a, c.
9 Theresa May — Corbyn’s boss, as headmistress, in a high-end department store; Jeremy Corbyn — some non-existent job, human rights; Tim Farron — vicar, gap year; Ruth Davidson — PE teacher, bus driver; Nicola Sturgeon — a nurse or matron, prison warder.
10 (full manifestos available online): Labour: 45p tax for those earning over £80,000; railways, energy companies and Royal Mail brought back into public control; tuition fees abolished; £30 billion extra for NHS. Conservatives: £8 billion extra for NHS by 2022; scrap triple lock on pensions by 2020; cut immigration below 100,000 per year. Half point for revoked policy on social care coming out of estate up until last £100,000. Liberal Democrats: Second referendum on Brexit deal; legalise cannabis; retain membership of single market and customs union. SNP: Another referendum on independence after Brexit negotiations; Scrap Trident renewal; full Scottish control over welfare.