The latest film from Korea’s Park Chan-wook is being billed as the final movie in a series that also includes Sympathy for Mr Vengeance and Oldboy. All that this really means, however, is that Lady Vengeance is another lusciously presented, entirely unreal and extremely violent tale of an unstoppable revenger. As the heroine (played by Lee Yeong-ae) lays her elaborate plan to punish the man who years ago forced her into evil deeds and stole her baby daughter, fondant cakes play a decorative role in the proceedings. They look right at home in a film that is itself a grand confection, ravishing in its colours and moreish in its black humour, melodramatic emotions and fancy structure. All good stuff, but it whetted my appetite for things that turned out not to be in stock: some fast, extravagant action and a big finish. Three stars
Final Destination 3
15, 93 mins
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The Final Destination format is better suited to sequelisation than many of the other franchise setups that have been flogged to death over the years. Like the previous instalments, number three has a group of high-school teens learning that they are destined to die, one by one, in the near future. They know the order in which their demises are to occur, but have no idea of the events that will carry them off. The film’s director, James Wong, and his co-writer, Glen Morgan, thus have plenty of room in which to create what is required of them: a series of surprising, funny and gruesome accidents. The ones they come up with are as entertaining as anything in the other two movies — and that is good enough for me. Three stars
Song of Songs
No cert, 80 mins
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Josh Appignanesi, a young British director, has made an imposing first feature in this study of transgression and power-playing in an Orthodox Jewish household — a collision between Pinter and the Pentateuch. Natalie Press plays a young Londoner who, after an attempt at living a life of strict piety, gives in to the allure of her militantly irreligious brother (Joel Chalfen).
In between reading out the pertinent biblical prohibitions, they perform near-incestuous acts of submission and authoritarianism — all while their mother lies dying elsewhere in the house. The film never completely defeats one possible criticism: that the whole thing is just silly. But Appignanesi gives many scenes an undeniable, if enigmatic, intensity. He is greatly helped by Press, who presents an austere, feline face and acts with utter conviction. Three stars
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Greyfriars Bobby
PG, 105 mins
Looking as if it might have been adapted from the pictures on a shortbread tin, this children’s film (directed by John Henderson) retells the story of the little dog who loyally watched over his master’s grave in 19th-century Edinburgh. The new spin is that Bobby inspires such solidarity in Auld Reekie’s downtrodden masses that a cruel mill-owner, fearing trouble from his workers, resolves to get rid of the mutt. Hasn’t he heard that it’s a bad idea to make martyrs of your enemies, especially if you’re up against a wee terrier who has melted the hearts of an entire populace? Of course, there is no chance of this villain achieving his desire, but he keeps trying. So the film is drawn out to a length unjustified by the cheerful but bland drama on offer. Two stars
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The Little Polar Bear: The Mysterious Island
U, 81 mins
Lars, the polar-bear cub who first appeared in a 2001 cartoon feature, here travels to the Galapagos Islands and finds a plesiosaur-type creature hiding on the sea bed. Alerted to this wonder’s presence, nasty humans persecute it, but Lars wants only to protect what he calls “the big fish”. Arguably, we shouldn’t demand worldly realism from what is a genial enough film for children, but I can’t help asking: why no concern for little fish? Lars is happy to eat them (instead of tucking into his friend Robby the seal), so it seems the big fish gets special treatment simply because it is big — which, I suppose, teaches children a realistic lesson about the world after all. Two stars
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Big Momma’s House 2
PG, 99 mins
Despite stiff competition from Cheaper by the Dozen 2 and Underworld: Evolution, this has to be the least-wanted sequel of recent months: Martin Lawrence’s return to the role of an FBI agent who goes undercover as a matronly old woman. The film’s range of unfunny jokes can be divided into those that at least celebrate Big Momma’s feistiness, and those that begin and end with her fatness. Admittedly, there is no guarantee that this stuff will disappoint the youngsters at whom it is aimed. The same constituency laps up Little Britain, with its own distinctly non-hilarious impersonations of outsized women. I am hoping, though, that even the most infantile sniggerers won’t be much impressed by John Whitesell’s sloppy film. One of Big Momma’s maxims is that “laughter is God’s hand on a troubled world”. There is no divine touch at work here. One star