As a Manchester United fan I’m loath to admit it, but Liverpool manager Jürgen Klopp seems like a pretty decent guy. After 90 minutes of screaming his lungs out from the touchline, he’s on the pitch putting a consoling arm around the shoulders of his players, win lose or draw. Contrast this fatherly behaviour with our man Mourinho, who castigates his charges over perfectly legitimate injuries and consigns respected internationals to the under-21 side, football’s equivalent of the naughty step.
Parenting skills aside, it’s the same in their respective car adverts. José can be seen sneering and mumbling his way through an Arctic drive in Jaguar’s F-Pace SUV as if he really could be doing better things with his time, while Jürgen, the face of Opel’s advert for the new Mokka X, is cracking gags, flashing his fastidiously white teeth and showing genuine acting ability.
Still, you get what you pay for I suppose. And while “the special one” is chosen to be the face of a prestige car maker, poor old Jürgen has to muddle by in the mass market.
Despite more than 600,000 sales since its introduction in 2010, the Mokka compact SUV has failed to impose itself on the Irish market. Last year’s 1,200 sales still lagged well behind the market leading Hyundai Tucson (7,245 sales), Nissan Qashqai (4,591) and Kia Sportage (2,871).
As a mid-life upgrade, the Mokka X is an attempt to address the original’s shortcomings. It’s got a smart new face with a wing-shaped grille and LED lights that give it a more rugged look. It’s also packed with a lot more extras, it’s better connected and there’s the option of four-wheel drive in more expensive models.
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Class leaders in this sector strike the perfect balance between boot and cabin space but — while the Mokka X has plenty of space — it’s not necessarily where you would want it. My test car had more headroom than a small cathedral, but stick a pair of adults in the back and its limitations quickly become all too clear. At 4.47m long, the Tucson has much more room to play with than the 4.28m Mokka X. But even the 4.37m Qashqai feels much bigger.
The Mokka beats both around town, where the shorter dimensions are ideal for nipping through traffic and parking in tight spots, although the parking sensors on my test car were so sensitive the beeping flatlined within two feet of the nearest obstacle.
While it fails to match rivals for space, the Mokka X does have its share of selling points. First off, it’s packed with equipment such as adaptive forward lighting that’s 30% brighter than its predecessor. Then there’s the intelligent four-wheel drive system that makes for steadfast driving in adverse conditions.
Under normal, everyday use, it runs in front-wheel drive but switches to 4x4 mode when things get rough. Four-wheel drive mode is activated when the car is taking off to prevent wheel spin and engages when the driver presses the clutch pedal.
Torque can be transferred to the rear axle, if you hit ice or potholes, to provide maximum grip. My test car coped admirably in the heavy downpours before Christmas. Hill-start assist was handy in multi-storey car parks too.
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The Mokka also comes with in car wifi that will power up to seven devices and Opel’s OnStar online concierge system. This online assistance programme is a godsend for getting you out of tight spots. It lets you talk to real human beings based in a call centre who can beam directions to your sat nav system or direct emergency services to your location in the event of a crash. And if your car is stolen, it can be disabled remotely to stop the thieves in their tracks.
The first 12 months is free and after that it’s €99 a year but for peace of mind alone it’s worth it.
Cabin quality has been improved by contrasting silver and glossy black finish but it’s still not the most exciting around. The addition of 7in and 8in touchscreens means the interface is much cleaner, primarily because it no longer has the Starship Enterprise array of buttons. There’s also a choice of 3.5in mono and 4.2in colour central information screens for vital driving updates. The Mokka is one of the best-connected cars in its class. Apple CarPlay and Android Auto are fully catered for, so you can access Google maps and use voice commands with Siri or Google Now.
Prices start from €21,495 and standard features on the entry S grade include a DAB radio, daytime running LEDs, cruise control and heated door mirrors. Upgrading to SC adds OnStar, dual-zone climate control, leather steering wheel, automatic wipers, electric folding door mirrors and 17in rather than 16in wheels.
The Elite version driven here adds sat nav, a larger touchscreen, leather seats with four-way lumbar adjustment, rear seat armrest with drinks holder, dark tinted rear windows, metallic door sills, 18in wheels and a heated steering wheel.
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On the road it’s refined and stays flat through corners but, like most of the vehicles in its class, it is highly unlikely to get pulses racing.
The 1.6-litre CDTI “whisper diesel” tested here proved a versatile performer and averaged 5.8 litres per 100km over the course of a fortnight.
The Mokka X isn’t a bad car, it’s just that it’s up against some very good ones. Which is precisely what some people would say about Klopp and Mourinho’s respective teams.
OPEL MOKKA X ELITE
Price: €29,570 (including €825 of extras)
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Performance: 0 to 100kph in 9.9 seconds
Top speed: 190kph
Fuel/CO2: 4.3 litres per 100km, 114g/km
Road tax: Band A4 (€200 a year)
Rating:Three stars
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Verdict: Bean counter
On sale: Now