AnonyMuriel organises a trip with friends each year. One of them is always sulky and irritating. How can she organise the trip without her this year, without offending her?
What a saint you are to undertake such a problematic duty. Such incompatibilities and aversions tend to arise on any trip. But you cannot let this selfish and sulky friend spoil the jaunt for everybody else. I think that a certain amount of economy with the truth or white lying is permissible in your circs. I should deliberately not include her in the planning. If she asks about it, I should be vague and change the subject. If she persists, somebody will simply have to tell her that she is not invited this year.
PH
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Elizabeth Ambler, Exeter: “It is not only Bridget Jones who had to cope with the smug marrieds. Treat her to ‘the endearing elegance of female friendship’. We all get by with a little help from our friends.”
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Mrs J. Romaine-Barnard, Dunmow: “A one-to-one chat is called for here.”
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June Bastable, Weston-super-Mare: “I should advise the party-pooper very gently that the holiday will be booked without her next year. Explain that you’re thinking only of her wellbeing, in view of her obvious non-enjoyment on previous occasions.”
Readers are invited to send their responses to this week’s question by August 26. A selection will be printed in a fortnight.
A question that has tormented me for a long time is that of giving tips or gratuities — with particular reference to hotels. Are there guidelines? Do the tips go up with the room rates? Tip generously on arrival and then not again or rather when you check out?
Peter Mueller, Cambridge