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Quotes of the week

“We won’t be rushing into supplying pipes tomorrow, but if, and it’s a big if, the level of crack use rises then we will be able to tackle it.”
Graham Cronkshaw, the NHS strategic co-ordinator for drugs and alcohol in Aberdeenshire, defends a proposal to hand out free crack pipes to addicts

“In the first place this woman is very lucky that she didn’t get bitten.”
Doreen Graham from the SSPCA criticises the animal lover who “rescued” a baby seal from Peterhead beach and kept it in her bath

“You can count the number of people in the market for this sort of property in Scotland on the fingers of one hand — or two if there’s a boom on.”
Estate agent Simon Fairclough explains why the owners of Middleton Hall in Midlothian have had to drop the asking price from £13.5m to £4.3m

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“It’s about Bonnie Prince Charlie, starring a huge Hollywood star who’s British and a terrible drunkard. He even disappears in the middle of the shoot.”
Ewan McGregor describes his upcoming film, The Great Pretender, about the making of a movie

“Moles are a huge problem for farmers. The soil they unearth contaminates grass and crops and the holes can be dangerous to animals.”
An NFU spokesman objects to an EU proposal to ban the use of strychnine to kill moles