Health and Safety Executive report for Postcomm analysing dangers on delivery route of P. Pat through Greendale.
Entering and leaving Mrs Goggins’s post office, including negotiation of stone step. Harm potential: trip/fall, possibility of broken bones, cuts, grazes and bruising. Likely risk of serious injury requiring three days’ absence.
Braving Miss Hubbard’s garden path while she is pruning roses. Harm potential: stress at being harassed by forceful, secateur-wielding old woman. Serious risk of eight months on incapacity benefit with depression.
Communicating with Granny Dryden. Harm potential: laryngitis brought on by trying to explain you are not the dustman. Delivering to Ted Glen’s farmhouse, with unavoidable transversing of farmyard and consequent close contact with chickens. Harm potential: contraction of avian flu and spreading the infection along rest of delivery route. Serious risk of fatal epidemic throughout Lake District.
Bumping into Rev Timms in churchyard. Harm potential: being hit by church bell, should it fall. Risk of cuts, grazes and/or fatality. (In passing, it was also noted that P. Pat travels with feline company, in direct contravention of rule B64827 banning quadrupeds from delivery routes. This poses a danger to customers with allergies and cannot be allowed to continue.).
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Assessment: this is clearly a difficult case in which the needs of a local community must be balanced against the wellbeing of P. Pat. Option 1: force residents to adopt less risky circumstances. Option 2: sell P. Pat’s red van and allow residents to collect their post from the post office. After much thought, I recommend the latter.