The two are watching television. “There’s nothing on the telly, my preternatural saucy minx,” Conrad says to his frighteningly youthful bride of 64.
So — in an animated title sequence — begins Citizen Black, the amusing, tongue-in-cheek documentary on the life and times of fallen press baron Lord Black, former owner of the Telegraph newspapers and The Spectator magazine.
Of course, times have changed for the Blacks in recent months. Since their fall, hobnobbing with the great and the good is a thing of the past, perhaps.
These days, court appearances are the most likely venue for meetings with many of their former friends.
Filmmakers Debbie Melnyk and Rick Caine have been chasing Black for more than two years for their documentary, which premiered at the Montreal World Film Festival last night and will be shown by the BBC later this year. The husband-and-wife team had invited the Blacks to the screening and were hoping for a double date afterwards.
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Black has yet to reply to the invitation and, unfortunately, Melnyk’s mum took a tumble at the Montreal hotel where she was staying for the premiere. She injured her hip and had to be flown to Toronto.
So it looks like the couple will have to take a rain check. Ah well, there’s always something on television.
Brewers whoop for Madonna
TIMOTHY TAYLOR, the West Yorkshire brewery, was delighted last year when Madonna, left, told Jonathan Ross that its Landlord Ale was her favourite tipple.
And well it might be. The brewer reported a hike in pre-tax profits to a record of more than £3m last year.
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More recently, at a glitzy party where the only drink was Landlord or champagne, Hugh Grant said he was “only here for the beer”.
Bets are on to see if his endorsement sells more than the pop queen’s. JW Lees, the Manchester brewer, is backing Madonna. It made a batch of Material Girl Ale in honour of her concerts in the city two weeks ago.
Water in the desert
BLUE KELD, the bottled- water company that claims its Yorkshire springs were enjoyed by the Vikings, has discovered the myth has charmed some high-class new clients — the brand is the latest fad in luxury hotels in Dubai.
The seven-star Burj Al Arab hotel, said to be the most indulgent in the world, has already ordered its first batch of Blue Keld, which will be shipped out next month. The company reckons it will make at least £500,000 a year from this relationship alone.
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When other flashy Dubai hotels got wind of this new nectar from the north, they did not want to be outdone. Eight swiftly opened negotiations with Blue Keld, three of which have now signed up.
The rest of this notoriously snobby industry is reeling from the upstart’s success. One said: “It’s only exclusive because nobody’s ever heard of it.”
STEPHANIE VILLALBA, the former Merrill Lynch banker who is seeking a record £7.5m from her bosses, who, she claims, “bullied, belittled, undermined and underpaid” her, has been taking time out to relax before her case restarts on Tuesday. Prufrock is told Villalba has been holidaying at the Quogue country club, the playground for New York’s mega-rich in the Hamptons. At least she will have had time to gauge just how much she was underpaid. But she could have done the same research at her Belgravia home, where occasional neighbours include Sir Elton John and Cher.
Store’s slap in the face
BAD news for J Sainsbury’s property team. For some months they have been working with the construction-services group Carillion on developing GCHQ’s former site in Cheltenham.
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Carillion has been taking care of residential plans while Sainsbury’s people have been designing a new supermarket.
Although permission to start work at Christmas has been granted, their plans still depend on final approval by Cheltenham borough council.
Just to get a feel for local-authority views, preliminary plans were sent to Cheltenham Civic Society. But it didn’t seem to be very impressed, saying that the store “looks like a shed” and that Cheltenham “deserves better”. Back to the drawing board, then.