FOR THE HIGH JUMP: In February 2003 I offered to train the pigs for the fly-past at the Olympic opening ceremony, provided the project was on time and within budget. Unfortunately, due to the massive price rise of swill and to reduce costs, training of the porkers has stopped. There will be roast pork for Sunday lunch. — Dr Ken Harvey, Trefecca, Powys.
Advertisement
SOMEWHAT WONKY: Atticus ought to re-read his classics (Comment, last week). Wonko the Sane will be recognised by anyone who has read Douglas Adams’s four-part trilogy (sic), known to aficionados as “the guide”. He takes decisions which affect the entire universe on the basis of minimal information supplied by those he barely knows. Wonko believes everyone else has lost the plot. He would have made a fine leader of the war on terror. — Roger Kershaw, Great Bookham, Surrey.
Advertisement
ON PARADE: Seeing Gordon Brown on his visit to Iraq (News, last week) brings to mind a cartoon of the early 1950s. A cabinet minister, speaking about the Middle East, was interrupted by someone shouting “Never mind the Mesopotamia, what about the mess-up-at-ome- ere?” — Hywel Roberts, Caernarfon, Gwynedd.
Advertisement
POTS OF GOLD: There are many more million-pound civil servants than officially admitted (Letters, last week). Is the taxpayer expected to overlook the thousands of civil servants and government officers whose pensions we have to fund with the equivalent of £1m annuities? — John Johnston, Eye Green, Cambridgeshire.
LET US SPRAY: I’m a normal farmer growing first-class produce using modern technologies — if and when appropriate (The organic delusion, Daisy Waugh, News Review, last week). Like every other farmer in the land I don’t use too many pesticides because they cost a hell of a lot, and I don’t spray as a leisure activity. Someone’s writing sensible articles on the subject at last. — Gerald Addicott, Corston, Bath.