I ONLY PLAY TO WIN. NOT JUST because I get paid for it, but also because that is who I am. I don’t care that much about all the finesses of the game, my joy comes from the scoreboard. My objective is to beat the opponent. That might sound brutal. I don’t think it is. There is just something inbuilt in men that needs to compete, yearns for challenges and gets satisfaction from a fair but tough fight. There are obviously other paths, too, but I personally couldn’t agree more with American football coach Vince Lombardi when he said: “I believe that any man’s finest hour — his greatest fulfilment to all he holds dear — is that moment when he has to work his heart out in a good cause and he’s exhausted on the field of battle — victorious.”
As you always do against the ones on the top, we in Crystal Palace desperately wanted to win when we played runaway leaders Reading on Friday. After a good performance, I thought we could have almost had them, but with all honesty a draw was a fair reflection of the game. They have gone now 29 league games unbeaten, which is unbelievable in any level, not to mention a highly competitive Championship, says something interesting.
In my opinion they are also good value for it. They have put together a well-organised and balanced team. Even when we took the lead they still had another gear, plan and will to get something out of the game. You could sense they knew what they where doing and had that precious winning mentality in them.
I don’t mind giving credit to the ones that deserve it, but don’t get me wrong; as a competitive man, I’d love to play the game again just to have another chance to beat them. I still think we have a good enough team to get our results. On the other hand, I thought that a year ago about staying up. Results don’t give second chances, though.
Watching successful teams always reminds me about my best moments. Something in their approach reminded me what I felt a year ago. My confidence was high after series of good results on and off the pitch.
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In my small world, I felt almost like Midas — everything seemed to turn into what would be like gold to me. The games went well both in the Premiership and for the national team. I was going out with a great wife candidate and even made peace with parking attendants. My new year’s resolutions were somewhere around a plan for world domination.
It could not have gone more wrong. Year 2005 was rotten. Smoke from the fireworks had hardly cleared when my calf resigned from duty. Soon we started to struggle with my beloved club and also the national team’s dreams to qualify for World Cup were trashed. Health got worse and most seriously there were people leaving and dying close to me. Furthermore, I’ve never received more parking tickets.
On and off the pitch there were just losses and although my problems are nothing in a bigger scale, it got me down. Final balance was so much in the red that I suggest the whole year should be removed from the calendar and history as a mistake. When nothing went right. Without a reason. Uninvited.
When you are “having a Sven”, to get even a bit of peace of mind I had to start to accept that results will vary and unreasonable problems will change your life, but still they don’t change everything. What you stand for will shine eventually through, though. It hit me when I saw the warm reception Reading manager Steve Coppell got from our supporters.
Everyone at the club still speaks about him and his time at Palace with passion, although eventually either results or other reasons made him go a different way in football and life. He has surely made a huge impact in Reading, but also at Palace his work is still appreciated.
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It is one thing I like about football: if you are an honest and hard-working man, you can always come back and be accepted. In the long run, everyone’s true colours will be found out and people will respond to what they’ve been given. He has surely showed what it needs to win not just the league but also friends for life.
I’ve not done anything even near as much as Coppell, but a few weeks ago I felt I got my share of the same good side of football. After a long injury I made a comeback from the bench in a cup game against Northampton. Our captain Michael Hughes, my midfield partner for the best times, wanted to give me the captain’s armband and I got great reception from both the crowd and my team-mates. On top of that I was playing against my first boot boy on opposite ranks and another former boot boy on our side who both told me it was good to see me back.
I realised it had nothing to do with the current game, old or future results — the things I’m addicted to. I felt it was an appreciation and respect for the work I’ve done for the club over the years. I’ve lasted here longer than most of the furniture and sure there have been bad results, injuries, dips in form, fallouts with management, times of unhappiness — like every player has sometime in his career. I don’t think in life you can prevent these. In football you have no chance.
However, it’s not what happens but how you react to it what counts. More than results you seem to get most reward from what you give and who you are. Also from yourself.
There is a saying that there aren’t friends in football. I disagree. I realised my biggest win is that I’ve been surrounded by exceptionally good people. Some people can justifiably question performances, results or the quality of football hasn’t always been the best. However, I will offer a pint or thicker glasses to anyone associated with the club that can question my commitment or workrate.
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I would like to believe this is a cheap round because although I haven’t yet won any trophies for this club, the response from people has been that my work has been accepted so far. It is the greatness of these people that I’ve been supported at all times. The appreciation goes both ways. In return I’ve always competed with everything I have for my values and colours. No matter how much results can vary, with people and life you always seem to get what you give.
The ultimate end of this is someone like Steve Coppell, who I believe is a rare person in football that can look backwards or forwards, and know he can anytime go back to all his clubs and be welcomed. He seems to have the winning formula in football and in life.
There are always more results and you can look at them in a different light. In 2005 I was also publicly chosen to be one of the biggest nutters of football history. I became godfather for three children, saw four beautiful weddings, I’m waiting for an academy award for my film debut and I met loads of great people and challenges. Most of all I haven’t got any parking tickets so far this year. I have to give myself points to balance the accounts. And as long as I can look the man in the mirror, everything counts to me. Like a zebra can’t escape its stripes, man can’t help his thirst for competition.