By Peter Crouch’s own admission, it is hard to keep a low profile when you are 6ft 7in.
However, there are ways of attracting unwanted attention, such as being photographed in “high spirits” on the dancefloor of a nightclub or sticking your head out of the sunroof of your taxi on the way home.
The England forward said that he was “squirming” when a well-documented night out in London last month was brought up in a press conference on Monday before the friendly match against Brazil in Doha on Saturday. He admitted he had not “covered myself in glory”, but added that “at the same time, I’ve not killed anyone — although I feel like I have”.
It has come to something when a 28-year-old is vilified for enjoying a night out, eight days before his next match for Tottenham Hotspur, but it is not the media or public reaction that Crouch was worried about.
Harry Redknapp, the Tottenham manager, called him an “idiot”, but more troubling, in a season that ends in the World Cup finals, was the way that Fabio Capello might react, given that the England manager has made clear his disregard for boozers, schmoozers or anyone whose focus slips for more than a second.
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“Harry just said to me, ‘You’re an idiot. Let’s move on.’ It was quite straightforward,” Crouch said yesterday. “That’s all we need to say about it. I don’t know what Fabio would think. He hasn’t said anything to me. It was eight days before the next game. But I know I’ve not covered myself in glory. It won’t happen again.
“Harry was all right with it. I’m human at the end of the day. After a game you want to relax and unwind. If you don’t have a game until the following weekend, you can go out and relax. It wouldn’t have happened like that if we’d had a midweek game.
“I was out with all the lads, as a team [after the victory over Portsmouth, his former club]. It probably escalated a bit more than I would have planned. We want to concentrate on football matters, especially with it being a World Cup year.”
At least Crouch has gone some way towards persuading Capello that he is worth a place in the squad next summer, having scored four goals in the three matches he started in the qualifying campaign. He claims not to have noticed any softening in the Italian’s attitude towards him, but Capello is known to have warmed to the forward after he scored twice in a 3-0 victory over Belarus last month.
“They [Capello and his staff] haven’t given too much away to me,” Crouch said, “but I think my case has probably been helped in the last few months.
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“I missed quite a lot of the pre-season while sorting out where I was moving [from Portsmouth to Tottenham]. Now, certainly, coming off the back of the Belarus game and scoring in my previous start before that, I would say I have more of a case now than I did at the start of the season.”
Crouch has learnt not to expect pats on the back from Capello, who, he says, “doesn’t like to single out players”. It is a similar approach to that of Rafael Benítez at Liverpool, where Crouch grew frustrated, and he admits that his preference at club level is for the straight-talking, uncomplicated man-management of Redknapp.
“Personally, I would rather have Harry’s approach,” Crouch said. “It’s easier to deal with someone like Harry because he’s so open. I can go and talk to him and he can explain why I’m left out or if I’m playing well.
“Benítez is the type of manager, similar to the England manager, where you have to work hard just to get a ‘well done’. That’s the way he plays it and he’s done exceptionally well with it, winning the Champions League and getting into finals.”
The Spaniard, like Capello, would prefer to administer the silent treatment when a player lets himself down — or perhaps just lets his hair down — off the pitch. Whereas Redknapp called the player an idiot, Capello will have silently made a note.
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Crouch will have to tread carefully between now and June.