No 93: WORST DAY OF THE YEAR
“. . . All by myself, don’t wanna be, all by myself . . .”
“Rainy days and Mondays always get me down . . .”
That is one sad iPod. Bad weekend?
Today is officially the worst day of the year.
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Not for me. I have a date and I just perfected a fabulous new risotto: bacon and blue cheese. Kind of high on carbs . . .
Shut up. I’m going to pull the blanket over my head and cry.
Who says it’s the most miserable day?
Cliff Arnell, a psychologist at Cardiff University. He has devised a formula. If I leave the house today I’ll be dumped or sacked or a kid will stick its tongue out at me in the supermarket.
What formula? How?
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Arnell says that it’s the day when all this stuff comes together and poleaxes us: the poorest weather, debts owed for seasonal spending, the time since Christmas, the time before you abandon new year’s resolutions . . .
All right, all right. Now I feel like slashing my wrists.
. . . the dates when motivation levels seem to be at their lowest and the “timing for the need for action to escape the blues”.
What does that mean?
It means that we should have escaped the blues sooner. And the telly’s rubbish, too. The only thing that keeps me sane is Bree on Desperate Housewives. I love and worship her.
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I’m worried about you. Does Arnell say how things might be improved?
No, Pollyanna. The grind of a new year has solidified around us. Three out of four of us say that the return to work after New Year is the toughest.
Maybe you’re right. Pass the vodka.
The only good thing, says Arnell, is that “the stresses and strains brought on by over-exposure to relatives at Christmas are alleviated as soon as you are back in a working environment”.
Do say: “I’ll say goodbye to love, no one ever cared if I should live or die.”
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Don’t say: “Cheer up.”