No 104: THE COMEBACK KID
OK guys, we gotta forget all this North Pole Monkeys stuff. Teenage kids playin’ rock’n’roll? It’s old news. I’m thinkin’ somethin’ nice, somethin’ classy, somethin’ your mom can dance to . . .
What, like Leo Sayer?
Ha ha, yeah, that’d be rich! I like your thinkin’ though — relaunching Seventies has-beens. Anyone know if Hall and Oates are still talking?
Umm, boss, the thing is . . .
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Yeah, I can see it now. We get us some hip young DJ from LA and get him to re-jig some Seventies wedding reception track. It’ll be beautiful, I’m tellin’ ya! Say, who’s meant to be No 1 next week, anyway?
Boss, we think it’s actually going to be Leo Sayer.
Kid, quit it with the Leo Sayer talk for a second. I’m thinkin’ here.
Look, listen to what I’m telling you! His new record’s been flying off the shelves. It’s all over the radio. The prices of rainbow braces and platform shoes have already risen way above inflation levels.
Sayer? The pipsqueak with the perm? I can’t believe I’m hearin’ this. The kid ain’t had a No 1 single since ‘77 . . . what the hell happened?
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(sighs) A hip young kid from LA called DJ Meck found a copy of Thunder in My Heart in some second-hand shop, remixed it, and now it’s hotter than fondue night at Studio 54.
But . . . Leo Sayer? Hot? I thought he moved to Australia ‘cause nobody was interested in all-singin’, all-dancin’ midgets. Someone get me a drink.
Don’t take my word for it, boss. DJ Meck reckons that “naff or not cool”, is “so not Leo Sayer”. Even though the original only got to No 22 in the charts 29 years ago, this version is going head-to-head with the rapper Notorious B.I.G. for the top spot on Sunday.
Little Leo is squaring up to Notorious B.I.G.? Jeeze, talk about David and Goliath (laughs). I mean, I know Biggie’s dead and all, but Sayer’s half the size of him. Someone get me the phone . . . “Leo! Baby! Where you been . . . ”
Don’t Say: My hair is naturally curly, really.
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Do Say: I really hope success means he doesn’t lose his integrity.