Theresa May’s team complain about all the chatter around her leather trousers but the prime minister is happy to encourage gossip about her fashion in the Tory party. At a meeting of the 1922 Committee on Wednesday night she was asked by Michael Fabricant why she hadn’t worn her lederhosen to PMQs. May, who was in a jolly mood, told Fabbers she had once sat next to Sir Peter Tapsell, the stately former MP for Louth & Horncastle, at a dinner while wearing a leather skirt. Tapsell took one glance at her outfit and purred: “You’ve made an old man very happy.”
The New York Times reports on a recent meeting that Sadiq Khan, mayor of London, had with Google. Khan told the search engine’s executives that a friend of his had said that he reminded him of Google. “Because I know all the answers?” Khan asked. “No,” the friend said, “because you’re always trying to finish my sentences.”
WITNESS
At a Private Eye event at the National Theatre this week, Ian Hislop recalled his favourite entries from Dumb Britain, the magazine’s column about stupid quiz-show contestants. “Name a character in the Bible beginning with G” got the reply “Gandalf” and “Which cathedral was destroyed in the Great Fire of London?” was answered with “Coventry”. Hislop also reflected on events in 2016 and suggested that it would have been better if the Nobel prize for literature had gone to Leonard Cohen rather than Bob Dylan. “At least he would have had a decent reason for not turning up.”
The Idaho Statesman reports that my favourite US politician is in line for a job in Donald Trump’s cabinet. Butch Otter, the state’s governor, would bring a vast experience of the potato industry to the agriculture department. The newspaper also reports that another excellently named state politician, Raul Labrador, has been interviewed by Trump. Geoff Hedgehog must be miffed not to be in the frame.
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BREXIT BLUES
Daniel Mulhall, Ireland’s ambassador to London, has been ticked off by the bean-counters in Dublin for exceeding his embassy’s postal budget for the financial year. “Blame Brexit!” he replies. Anyone with an Irish granny or who once watched Father Ted has been applying for an Irish passport since June 23 and the embassy has posted 100,000 application packs. Economies will have to be made in 2017 and Mulhall warned the press at a Christmas party that, if there is much more of this, the next one will be — gasp! — soft drinks only.
The Lib Dems, on the other hand, ran out of tonic water after only 90 minutes at their Christmas party. Guests, who made up in thirst what they lacked in number, were asked if they would accept gin and lemonade instead. Wouldn’t have happened in Charles Kennedy’s day.
IN SEARCH OF A CAROL KING
The Labour Party has failed to make the shortlist for my festive song competition with their rewriting of Do They Know It’s Christmas? to attack bad business. How could I reward such an awful lyric as “Your overtime’s now ended,/ Your lunches have been took”? TMS readers can do better. You have one more week to send me rewritten carols and festive songs about the news in 2016. I’ll run them on Boxing Day.
