It seems that we are no longer Donald Trump’s best friend. In an interview with The New York Times, the US president gushes about Emmanuel Macron, saying three times that “he loves holding my hand”, and recalling a dinner at which he was placed next to the wife of the prime minister of Japan, Shinzo Abe. “He is a terrific guy but she doesn’t speak English,” Trump sighed. “Like, not ‘hello’.” He explained that they sat next to each other for almost two hours without exchanging a word. Video has since emerged of Mrs Abe giving a speech in rather good, if accented, English. Perhaps she just deployed “me no speaky” as a way to enjoy a quiet dinner.
Parliament can be a mysterious place for the newcomer but it isn’t quite as esoteric as one Lib Dem thought on an induction day. In a talk on parliamentary procedure, she was advised to make her name by speaking in an adjournment debate. “Do they have them for people from every country?” asked Wera Hobhouse, the Hanover-born MP for Bath, below. She had misheard it as “a German debate”.
OXFORD BLUE
Gyles Brandreth had quite the education at Oxford. In a piece for The Oldie, the humourist recalls being flirted with as an undergraduate by the master of Wadham, Maurice Bowra. Brandreth says that Bowra’s approaches, which would have him investigated nowadays, were thrilling to a young student flattered by the attention. “Buggery,” Bowra liked to explain, “was invented to fill that awkward hour between evensong and cocktails.”
Students who fear poor exam results were given some encouragement this week by one low-achiever who recalled the words his head teacher had told him when he left school in Shropshire. “You will never make anything of your life, Corbyn,” he said to this lad with drepaniform (sickle-shaped) dreams. This turned out to be a poor prediction; all he needed to do was to wait 50 years for a political party to take leave of its senses.
LET’S HAVE A WHIP ROUND
Despite the warnings to Tories to lay off the prosecco and plotting, two of the party’s whips threw a raucous party at their London digs this week. It got out of control as 100 MPs spilt into a two-bedroom flat. Inevitably the neighbours complained about the noise and so the party had to continue on the street. Strict tickings-off would be issued if it weren’t for the chief whip being one of the keenest revellers.
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Lord Griffiths of Burry Port, a Labour peer, is soon to retire as superintendent of Wesley’s Chapel in London. He tells the Methodist Recorder that the combined effect of his departure and a recent operation that removed a large chunk of his bowel means that he is “now a semi-colon on the way to reaching my full stop”.
DANCING QUEEN
Is the Queen an Abba fan? According to Pink News, a dinner at Windsor Castle ended with the monarch beaming in delight as a DJ started to play some music. “I always try to dance when this song comes on,” she told guests, “because I am the Queen and I like to dance.” Sounds implausible. Prince Charles, on the other hand, is certain to be a fan of Abba’s Take a Chance on Me, with its opening line: “If you change your mind, I’m the first in line.”
