After seeing the streaker appear on the pitch during the Granada v Manchester United game last week, I had three questions: What? How? And why?
The answer to the first was there for all to see. It was a naked bearded man. Some speculated that it was Marouane Fellaini, maybe making one last-ditch effort to earn a recall to the Belgium side for the Euros. But the streaker was in fact a local bloke known as The Naked Man of Granada. Yep, the name checks out.
The next question is a little more complicated: How? Traditionally, a streaker would undress among the crowd, shuffle down the steps, leap the barriers and perform a little comedy jog to the gleeful cheers of supporters, all delighted to see a bare bottom where they didn’t expect to.
But the stadium was empty, so he just ran around in silence in front of a small group of confused men standing in a field. He would have got the same reaction if he had streaked through a Tesco Express.
And it turns out that to pull this stunt, he arrived at 7am and hid under a tarpaulin all day. He must have been freezing, just lying there. Not ideal conditions for presenting yourself to the world. You have to wonder if, at any point during those 14 hours, he thought anything other than: “This is definitely a good idea.” You also have to wonder where his house keys were.
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Now to our final question: Why? Some say he was doing it to promote world peace. An unusual way of going about it, I have to say. But, as far as I know, there hasn’t been a single war break out since he did it, so maybe it worked.
I wonder if the real reason, though, is to do with the situation we’re in. During lockdown there have been reports of people taking comfort in nostalgia. It seems that reconnecting with things from our past helps us to deal with the uncertain present. And what could be more nostalgic than a streaker?
Some people stick on an old sitcom and some sneak into a stadium, hide under a plastic sheet for 14 hours, then run around naked while cameras broadcast it to millions. It’s two sides of the same coin.
Who knows, maybe this will become more common as restrictions continue to lift. We don’t yet know how being shut away for so long will affect us. Maybe we’ll all feel the urge to do something like this. With that craving for nostalgia, combined with a new-found connection to nature and the huge desire for freedom, I’ll be surprised if any fans keep their clothes on. It’s a worry for me, because I go to the match with my stepdad.
