They are accused of being cruel, manipulative and abusive, and of making their children’s lives a misery to satisfy their own thwarted dreams.
Parents who are ambitious for their talented offspring but want to avoid pushing them too hard can now get advice from one of the highest-profile mothers in British sport.
Judy Murray, mother of the mercurial Scots tennis sensation Andy Murray, has overseen her son’s meteoric rise from shy Stirlingshire schoolboy to the player who last week triumphed in straight sets over the world number one, Roger Federer.
The former Scottish national tennis coach has launched an online guide to the pitfalls of hothousing sporting prodigies. At the website Britishtennisparents.com, Judy Murray reveals the secrets that helped the Scottish teenager to keep his infamous temper in check and nurture his talent.
She outlines her belief that youngsters can succeed at the highest levels without having damaging pressure heaped on them by obsessive parents.
Advertisement
Earlier this year Damir Dokic made headlines around the world when he said that he had thought about dropping a bomb on Sydney in retaliation for his daughter Jelena’s defeat in the first round of the Australian Open.
In France, Christophe Fauviau, father of two teenage prodigies, drugged the water bottle of an opponent, Alexandre Lagardère. He fell asleep at the wheel of his car and was killed in the crash. Faviau was jailed for eight years.
Mary Pierce, the Canadian who now plays for France, eventually had to take out a restraining order on her father Jim after he threw a juice can at the head of one of her opponents and urged her to “kill the bitch!”.
In contrast, Judy Murray has striven to avoid the excesses of other parents in the game while driving the careers of Andy and his brother Jamie during their rise through the tennis ranks.
Her message is that the values and attitudes that a child learns at home are crucial to their performance on the court.
Advertisement
“You do find the mad mum and the bad dad who get too uptight when watching their child’s match,” she said.
“I have seen verbal and physical abuse of children by parents who are just far too intense. As young players progress, especially ones from poorer countries, parents see their child’s success on the tennis court as a path to a better life.
“They get so obsessed by it that they don’t cope when things are not going well and they take it out on the child.”
She suggests: “Parents should analyse their child’s matches so they have got something to do rather than tutting and sighing. It is also something positive to talk about afterwards, rather than just say ‘well, you played rubbish’.”
Judy Murray, herself a former Scottish champion, believes that the website fills a serious gap in the sport’s approach to young players.
Advertisement
“I was working with the Lawn Tennis Association on their coach education programme and although they were investing a lot of money, I could see they were missing one very important factor in the development of any young player — parents.
“The majority of young coaches working with the better youngsters are quite young and mostly male. They are good players but they don’t have kids of their own and don’t understand how important the role of the parent is.”
Judy Murray knows the personal price that must sometimes be paid for helping an exceptionally talented son or daughter make the grade.
The strain took its toll on her marriage and she and her husband William divorced in 2004 after an amicable split.
Judy Murray said of being a tennis mum: “You are the taxi driver, money lender and laundry maid. You have to give up so much of your time and there is endless waiting around.”
Advertisement
The website, which she put together with the coaches Daniel Thorp and Paul Dent, addresses a number of issues that have affected the British number one in his rise to his current position of 21 in the world rankings.
One section is dedicated to whether overseas tennis academies are good for young players. “Tennis academies are money-making operations and they will tell you what you want to hear about your child’s potential,” she said.
Parents who click on to the website can even quiz Judy Murray on aspects of their youngster’s game.
She said: “It is all worth it. I don’t think it really matters how far a child goes as long as you see them enjoy themselves and learn discipline and camaraderie.”