WIPE OUT
We have recently returned from a stay in a posh hotel. In the bathroom, there were two toilet-roll holders side by side, each with a new roll. Can you advise on the correct etiquette for their use. Should one use a piece of paper from each alternately? Are they his and hers rolls, or is there some other protocol? Help, lest we embarrass ourselves by improper usage.
RT, Exeter
This is just another manifestation of the bonkers escalation of the arms race between hotels as to what constitutes poshness. We would be quite happy if the chambermaid checked the level of the roll each morning, rather than load up an array of holders like missile silos ready for launch in case of virulent dysentery. It is just nonsensical faux sophistication. Besides, don't the best hotels supply their guests with unlimited, ever-replenished, fluffy white towels, anyway? Much more effective. Just don't try flushing them away.
WEDDING DRESS
I am getting married in Thailand in April, and I am reliably informed that it will be humid and about 40C. I am at a loss to know what to wear. At that temperature, top hat and tails are surely out of the question. In the humidity, I'd look like a prune in a linen suit after five minutes. Could I get away with a safari suit à la Roger Moore in The Man with the Golden Gun (I've been told the bride is wearing champagne)?
DL, by e-mail
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It is unspeakably vulgar to have a wedding in a foreign country, unless you are marrying a native. If this is the case, then you must conform to local customs, although I was under the impression that most Thais posted themselves off to other parts of the world and married older gentlemen.
I WAS DUMPED
I recently met a very nice girl through a friend. We started seeing each other, and I invited her to a New Year's Eve party. The girl didn't know many people at the party, but I introduced her to my friends and they got along well. A few days later, the girl in question ended our relationship. Simultaneously, one of my male friends to whom I had introduced her at the party ended his relationship with his girlfriend of three years. I have now discovered that he is dating my ex. I feel that this would never have happened if I had not introduced them. Should I be angry at my friend and ex for this? Or myself for introducing them?
DC, London
For goodness' sake, pull yourself together and don't be so pathetic. Girl meets boy. Girl meets another boy she fancies more and dumps first boy. It's hardly unheard of, and at least they had the grace to tidy up loose ends first.
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