Water sports
During the hot weather, I find a quick dunk in my inflatable paddling pool is an ideal way to cool off when I’ve finished the pruning. However, no sooner have I settled in than I feel the call of nature. Rather than face the long, damp trek back indoors, I often let go into the water. The problem is that I have two elderly friends coming to stay who may wish to join me for a splash, and I wondered if my little habit would pose any kind of risk to them. Any advice, please?
PB, Ruislip
Oversensitivity to changes in temperature that affect the bladder is one of the symptoms of age, so I am quite sure they will both understand and sympathise, and probably be grateful for you taking the chill off the water. The rest of us might like to bear in mind that it is always best to avoid the local pool just after the pensioners have had their aquarobics session.
Iced off
It has come to my attention that my friend uses tap water to make ice cubes. I am a regular visitor to his house and often have a cold drink while I am there. My gut feeling is to end the friendship immediately. Can you advise?
KR, Derby
I’m afraid you are the one at fault here. I would never dream of drinking bottled water. It is only foreigners, with their inadequate public water supply, who need to take this precaution. In Britain, we should quaff our water straight from the tap and snap our fingers at Johnny Foreigner. Furthermore, I have never quite been able to cure myself of the belief that the overprovision of ice in drinks is unspeakably vulgar.
Feet first
I am a mature gentleman with a foot fetish. I love ladies’ shoes, especially with open toes. However, in recent years this has got out of hand. As soon as the sun comes out, I tremble with anticipation and can’t wait to see those painted toes. Now I spend my time looking at the ground to spot what kind of sandals a lady is wearing, much, I fear, to her annoyance. Please help me out of this hell.
WRM, by email
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Aversion therapy might work. Try secreting sweating flakes of stale cheese into a handkerchief and bringing this to your nose every time you find yourself transfixed by painted toes. Otherwise, a large spiked collar around your neck preventing you from looking down might work — available from the Opus Dei range in all reputable Catholic gift shops.
Miaow
How come I find the sound of cats purring hypnotically restful, whereas the sound of my husband snoring gently makes me homicidal and insomniac?
CM, Wilts
Your cat is independent, easy to feed and otherwise undemanding. Your husband is none of these and too big for the cat flap.
Today's sermon
Is it wrong to make out in the back of a church? There was a rather boring service going on and my boyfriend and I snuck behind the organ. Is this wrong?
OT, by email
As long as the organ is big enough, it’s fine.
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Send problems to: Mrs Mills, The Sunday Times, 1 Pennington Street, London, E98 1ST, or mrs.mills@sunday-times.co.uk. No correspondence can be entered into