My wife is incapable of closing cupboard doors, jam jars, perfume bottles, handbags (her latest has seven always-open zips), laundry baskets and so on. She drops her shoes wherever, loses her reading glasses and keys every day, and sometimes forgets where she parked her car. Is this behaviour curable?
CL, by e-mail
This sluttish behaviour can be dealt with. A ruthless regime of knocking over the opened nail varnish (into the lidless laundry basket if feasible), breaking your ankle as you stumble over a carelessly discarded shoe or missing the opportunity for dinner with George Clooney because she couldn’t find the car keys should start to bring about a more structured approach to her life — but it is probably far too late and you are stuck with her.
Ride like the wind
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What is the correct social etiquette when riding a friend’s horse that insists on breaking wind frequently? We live in a small village, where I am well known. Do I blame the owner, disown the horse, or just ignore the fanfare of eruptions? I am sure that passers-by think it might be me.
SC, Yorkshire
It is not the done thing to be in any way perturbed by bodily functions, and, indeed, in certain circles, farting like a horse in public is considered terribly smart.
He’s a pervert
My boyfriend has an inclination for pornographic websites. Upset, I tackled him on the issue. He told me it could be worse, and that his interests were natural. To quiet my distaste, he now deletes the history pages. Should I be able to deal with this, or is my anger justified?
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LR, Zurich
Whereas, in the past, men’s curiosity was held in check by the difficulties of obtaining pornography (not least, embarrassment and legality), now the internet makes it instantly available in the most depraved forms. He is on the thin end of a slippery slope that will finish up in specialist backstreet brothels — and how cross will you be then?
Send problems to: Mrs Mills, The Sunday Times, 1 Pennington Street, London E98 1ST, or mrs.mills@sunday-times.co.uk. No correspondence can be entered into