I am a 43-year-old bachelor and have become friendly with an attractive 54-year-old single lady, who has been dropping hints about living alone. Recently, she invited me to spend a day fishing on her friend’s cabin cruiser. Her motive may be more than just sitting there with a rod and line. I admit to fancying her, but I’m a complete novice where boating and fishing are concerned. What can I wear to inflame her passions?
TLN, Liverpool
If you are a novice, do not pretend to be experienced — you’ll only risk embarrassing yourself. She sounds as if she knows what she’s doing, so be guided by her. Let her handle your rod, if necessary: you don’t want to be flinging it about all over the place, and fumbling can end in disaster. As for what to wear, a pair of Speedos and a football shirt would be fine.
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I’M A PIN-UP
When I visited my lover in San Francisco, we took some rather sexy pictures. He’s revealed that my picture is pinned up in the taxi firm where he works. He says there’s no harm because I live in Ireland and nobody in SF will recognise me. Should I be concerned, flattered or worried?
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MM, Dublin
It’s lucky his work does not involve computers, so your photo has not gone round the world by e-mail. Come on, take a look at where you are: Dublin. And he’s a taxi driver in San Francisco. Get a man nearer home, or even the eastern seaboard.
RELIEF AT HAND
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I suffer from a stiff neck. Recently, I saw an advert in our local paper from Samantha offering “discrete” massage. I know from my Latin that discrete means applied to a particular place, so obviously this is the treatment for me. However, my wife seems very suspicious. What might persuade her otherwise?
RR, Batley
Send your wife off to see Samantha and to learn all she can, then she can apply the various techniques she has picked up in your own home. I expect you will both feel reinvigorated.
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Send problems to: Mrs Mills, The Sunday Times, 1 Pennington Street, London E98 1ST, or mrs.mills@sunday-times.co.uk. No correspondence can be entered into