A literary pursuit
I recently had an interesting discussion with a near neighbour (we are both women of a certain age) about our joint enthusiasm for poetry. I talked at length of my love of Shakespeare, and I thought we were on the same wavelength. In view of this, when she suddenly asked me if I am a passionate person, I assumed we were still talking in literary terms. However, it has become evident since then that she was thinking of other passions. How should I handle what is becoming a very difficult situation?
Should I inform her bluntly that I am not seeking the type of passionate encounter she is looking for and risk endangering neighbourly relations, or should I broaden my literary tastes and investigate the possibility that Sappho was as fascinating a poet as the man from Stratford?
FE, Horsham
The trouble with Sappho is that it doesn’t really go anywhere. It’s all so random and fragmentary as to be ultimately unsatisfying, entirely lacking in that Shakespearian length and rigour that always leaves one fulfilled if rather exhausted afterwards.
Ticklish subject
This is the first time I have admitted to being extremely ticklish. (Obviously, I wouldn’t do that in real life. It wouldn’t exactly help a manly image.) I’ve got my first proper girlfriend. What do I do if she finds out?
AJ, by email
Au contraire, text her the news immediately. It is a medical fact that ticklish people have better sex than the resolutely unticklish.
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Louder than words
I went to a party with my boyfriend, whom I have been with for five years. He has always seemed faithful, but at this party I saw a girl of about 18 looking at him meaningfully. Later on, my boyfriend made eye contact with her and they seemed to be doing some sort of sign language. When I asked my boyfriend, he said that he did not know what I was talking about. What is happening?
GJ, Somerset
Obviously your boyfriend is preverbal and unable to understand the spoken word. Hence his reliance on sign language. A swift slap across his face would have communicated your concerns succinctly and effectively. Try it soon, if, indeed, it is not already too late.
Get with it
I am a 77-year-old widower and have met a very attractive widow of similar age. We have become very close, and spend time travelling together and living together at each other’s houses, but neither of us wishes to remarry. What modern word or phrase can we use to describe this liaison to our respective children and grandchildren?
GT, Bournemouth
How about “life partner”? It is a horrid phrase, I know, but at your age you’re not likely to be using it for very long.
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Dressed to impress
Why is it only boyfriends see me in underwear, but everyone sees me in a bikini at the beach or swimming pool? Surely they are basically the same?
MD, somerset
More interestingly, why does your husband miss out on you in your smalls?
Send problems to: Mrs Mills, The Sunday Times, 3 Thomas More Square, London E98 1ST, or mrs.mills@sunday-times.co.uk. No correspondence can be entered into.
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