SHADY RULES
I was recently at an outdoor festival in Madrid, having a drink at a crowded bar, when I realised that someone had left an expensive-looking pair of Ray-Bans there. As nobody came back to reclaim them, I decided to take them for myself. However, I have since become racked with guilt that these may belong to someone to whom they are important, and this is only speeding my one-way journey to the fire and brimstone of eternal damnation. However, even if I take them back to the bar, I doubt the owner will find them, thus I would only be leaving them to be taken by the barmaid. It has been suggested that I sell them on eBay and give the money to charity. What should I do?
MC, by e-mail
Only shallow and vain people buy expensive sunglasses, so it feels right that they should lose them - but only if the glasses fall into the hands of those who could not ordinarily afford them. If this is the case, you can keep them. However, if you could buy your own, you should have handed them in to the bar staff, who would doubtless also have swiped them, but deservedly so.
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GOING TONTO
As a woman d'un certain âge, I find it difficult to sleep through the night. However, I have discovered that wearing an airline-style eye mask helps considerably. Unfortunately, my husband is not happy, saying it's like sleeping next to the Lone Ranger. What should I say to him?
KB, by e-mail
"Stick 'em up." Then, "Hi-ho, Silver, away!"
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NOBODY BUT CHICKENS
I have been asked by a close friend to be her chief bridesmaid, and, as I understand it, the role comes with the duty of organising the hen party. My friend, like me, is not enamoured of the culture of wearing pink sashes emblazoned with "hen party", worn over pink T-shirts with our names, nor that of hiring male strippers and getting completely intoxicated to the point of not remembering anything. I was hoping you could suggest some suitable, classy alternatives.
LJ, by e-mail
Try a night in with a DVD of Pride and Prejudice and mugs of cocoa all round. The bride will be in better shape to look sparkling on her big day, and her friends can get in all the clucking they want at the reception.
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FACE THE FACTS
I am a fairly new user of the world phenomenon that is Facebook, but I am curious to know, what is the etiquette regarding adding ex-girlfriends as "friends"?
CG, Ireland
There is no etiquette as such. You just have to ask yourself whether it is a good idea that you will be able to see what a fabulous time they are having now you are no longer around, and whether you will be able to handle pangs of jealousy when you see some hunky, far richer chap squiring your former squeeze to various select events that you were never invited to. Of course, the reverse may also be true, but I doubt it, otherwise you wouldn't have written, as obviously there is a lot to be said for advertising how successful you have become to the girls who dumped you as inadequate in the past.
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