My mother wants to give me her Limoges tea service — something I have always admired. My problem (as a closet Hyacinth Bucket) is where would be the most “correct” place to display it. I doubt that any of my circle of friends would appreciate it, regarding it as an eccentricity. I would hate to be vulgar. Any suggestions, please?
Antigone Theoharris, Frimley Green, Surrey
I find the practice of displaying china on the walls amusing. It is a category mistake. The thing to do with a tea service is to drink and eat tea off it, not use it as a painting or a tapestry. But I concede that in stately homes fine china may be put on display for visitors to gawp at. Since you cannot use the tea service for its proper purpose, I should have the courage of your instinct and show it off. Blow the inverted snobs.
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The daughter of a friend was recently divorced. As a final gesture, she went down to the pierhead and threw her ring into the sea. We thought this a terrible waste. One of our daughters, however, thought that attaching it to a rocket would have been a more suitable finale. Is there an etiquette for divorce?
John Carder, Anstruther
No etiquette. The only gift that is traditionally returned after a bust-up is the engagement ring. Throwing a ring into the sea is a stock topic of myth. It is symbolic. The important thing after the tragedy of divorce is to move on. Good luck to your friend’s daughter. Her gesture has long and curious roots.
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Are braces considered antiquated? I wear braces to hold up my work trousers and receive sniggers. Does it mark me out as a fuddy-duddy?
Angus Markham, Leicester
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Braces are slightly old-fashioned, and, I suppose, mildly humorous. I wish they still had buttonholes and not clips which part, leaving my braces hanging around my neck. Braces used to be de rigueur with natty gents’ suiting. They preserved the twin vertical precipices of the trousers without bunching. Times have moved on, yet I should wear your braces with pride. I have a pair decorated with naked ladies, and another pair proclaiming (implausibly) “ Veni Vidi Vici”.
Friends have recently acquired a dog. They both work full-time and the lady of the house goes home at lunchtimes to take the dog for a short walk and feed it. But on days when she cannot go home, I am asked to see to the dog. I don’t even like dogs, and it takes up my entire lunch break. Your advice, please.
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Name and address withheld
What a submissive friend you are and what irresponsible dog-owners your friends sound. You have boxered yourself into a Catch-22 kennel through friendship and fear of saying “no”. Of course, we go out of our way to help friends and neighbours, but not to the extent that it becomes a resentment. I think you need to have an honest talk with your friends. They seem to have adopted you as an unpaid dog-attendant.
I have been brought up to understand that a gentleman should follow a lady up a staircase, and precede her down, presumably in case she should fall. A more modern protocol suggests that I should precede the lady up and follow her down, presumably to avoid my seeing too much of her legs. Which scenario is correct?
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Noel Turner, Ryde, Isle of Wight
Tactful Tarzan! Ver-ray interesting. In days of old, when knights were bold, the man led the way up stairs. Partly because the man was deemed superior, partly in order that he could be the first to encounter enemy ambush. Your delicacy about ladies’ legs is charming but old-fashioned; legs are part of modern display and meant to be admired (but not ogled).
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TALKING POINT www.timesonline.co.uk/talkingpoint Philip Howard answers your etiquette questions online at noon on Monday