I HAVE BEGUN taking an old neighbour out occasionally. She knows that I am Jewish, albeit non-practising. I now realise that she is racist and anti-Semitic (she refers to me as “a Jew, but quite nice”). I believe in her right to her own opinion, but feel unable to continue the relationship. She is widowed and childless and needs our support, so what next?
One school of thought would argue that you should challenge your neighbour’s views firmly, because racism should not be allowed even the tiniest chink of daylight in which to flourish. But in this case a gentler approach might prove more productive.
Your neighbour is clearly not so bigoted that she refused your offer of company, even though you are Jewish.
The worthiest response would be to continue taking your elderly anti-Semitic neighbour out for occasional trips so that she might realise, over time, how foolish she has been to nurse such ugly prejudices all her life against people so evidently kind and thoughtful as you.
But it would be equally understandable if you felt that life was too short, and that your emotions during your trips with this neighbour, too, uncomfortable, to continue the arrangement.
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If, though, you can still find it within you to make one last stab at building bridges, try showing her the foolishness of her prejudice be recounting this story: one day, Groucho Marx was driving near the ocean with a friend when he spotted a beach club with a row of pretty chalets. “That would be a good club for me and my family,” he said, only for his friend to point out that this club didn’t admit Jews.
Groucho, whose wife wasn’t Jewish, said, “Well, my son is only half-Jewish. Do you think they’d let him go into the water up to his knees?”
FACING A DILEMMA?
Have you dilemmas of your own? Write to: Modern Morals,Times Features, 1 Pennington Street, London E98 1TT. E-mail: modernmorals@thetimes.co.uk
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