It is necessary to decide what you are going to do and “get on with it” without fuss.
I have combined an interesting full-time career as a solicitor (initially as a partner in a law firm and latterly as general counsel for a FTSE 250 company involving international travel) with two children (now 14 and 10). I recommend a cleaner, good nannies (who stay for about five years), a mother nearby for emergencies and the same husband throughout.
Ros Marshall Smith
Otley, West Yorkshire
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COSTS OF CHILDCARE: Unfortunately for children, encouraging mothers back into the workplace is too often seen as the only politically-correct, socially acceptable way forward. Wraparound care is here to stay because childcare is seen as a one-stop solution to inadequate parenting and dual- income absenteeism.
The adverse effect on children of long hours in childcare will cost society dearly and is the inevitable consequence of consistently failing to reward common-sense parenting, that is where either mum or dad works, while the other forfeits a salary to invest time in the children.
The government is going to create a parenting academy. But what’s the use of teaching parenting skills if both parents are absent? Being a parent involves time with the children, passing on family values and housekeeping skills, sharing mealtimes.
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The government could consider more favourable fiscal arrangements for families.
Marie Peacock
Salisbury, Wiltshire
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TOP JOB: PARENTING isn’t taken as seriously by the government as it should be. How will the next generation of adults turn out if this isn’t addressed? I am a full-time mum because I want to be and have decided that now my children are my priority. I want to be the prime influence in their lives and not a stranger.
The government undervalues full-time mothers — the hardest but most important job that you can do.
Beth Taylor
Stockport
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CHILDREN AND CHOICE: For the majority of mums there is no choice but to go back to work as we need the money. Are you honestly saying, India, that if you can’t afford to stay at home with your children you should not have them? Please think again. It took me 10 years to have my daughter, now 13, and I would have given anything to have been able to stay at home with her, but sadly we could not afford this.
I did my upmost to find my daughter the very best childcare and amazingly she now appears to be a carefree (not stressful) teenager. It is too easy to blame “the working mother”.
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Jenny Staple
Waterlooville, Hampshire
TAX INCENTIVES: I’m sure you’ll receive a pile of post disagreeing with Knight’s views but her observations are very accurate. My wife is relieved that she shouldn’t feel guilty because we decided to have a child and are willing to make the necessary sacrifices.
I only wonder why the government can’t see the benefit a stay-at-home parent brings to a child. It seems obvious that a tax incentive offered to single wage families would be money better spent than on wrap- around care system.
John Cowell
Hadleigh, Essex