Frank Milford has some wise words for couples looking to create some sparks on Valentine’s Day today: forget the big gestures and inject a little romance into every day with a kiss before bedtime.
And he should know — after 79 years of marriage, Mr Milford and his wife, Anita, will again exchange small tokens of love this morning.
As always, though, they will keep a sense of proportion. Mr Milford, who turned 100 last month, said: “We don’t go in for big Valentine’s Day gestures — being in love is something you do every day. At our age that’s all you need, just us together, no big fuss.”
He and Mrs Milford are Britain’s longest married couple. They still live together at a care home in Plymouth, where one employee said yesterday: “They are still in very good form.”
Mrs Milford, who will celebrate her 100th birthday in June, admitted that they still had disagreements. “Not big rows, just the odd cross word. As far as I’m concerned, it’s healthy.”
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The couple met in 1926 at a YMCA dance and married in May 1928 at the Torpoint Register Office in Cornwall. They went on to have two children, Marie and Frank, who are now in their seventies, and are grandparents and great-grandparents several times over. One recent addition to their family is a great-great-grandson.
They lived in a three-bedroom bungalow in Plymouth for more than 70 years before they decided to move into the care home in 2005. The couple said that one of the secrets for a long and happy marriage was to “share a little kiss” every night before bed.
Mrs Milford said: “It’s our golden rule.” She added: “Couples these days don’t last long because they often don’t take enough time for each other. There just isn’t enough respect — love is about give and take.
“Our advice to young couples would be to make time for a little romance every day. I never cared much for big romantic gestures. Frank has respected me from the moment we met. That is the secret of true love, I suppose.”
Mr Milford, a former dock worker, added: “To win over your sweetheart you need a dose of old-fashioned chivalry, and don’t let your standards slip. We do everything together even after nearly 80 years.”
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In June the Milfords hope to claim the record for the longest British marriage, held by Percy and Florence Arrowsmith, from Hereford, who were married for 80 years.
The couple gave their advice to those hoping to emulate their achievement, advising against “swinging” as a recipe for a happy marriage. Mrs Milford said: “We don’t believe in threesomes either! There’s a difference between having friends and carrying on.”
Their son, Frank, said: “They have always lived for each other, it’s as simple as that. My father has never driven a car — maybe that’s why he’s lived so long.”
For those who are not sure whether they have the Milfords’ stamina, gardening and going for walks together could hold the key to a long marriage, according to research published yesterday.
Shared activities are far more important than physical or emotional intimacy for couples who want to enjoy years of wedded bliss, the study by researchers at the University of Edinburgh indicated.
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The long and the short of it
— In 2003, the world’s longest marriage ended when Liu Yang-wan, 103, died. She was married to Liu Yung-yang, 104, for 86 years. The Taiwanese couple had more than 100 children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren
— The shortest marriage was in 2003 when a Saudi man divorced his wife seconds after the ceremony when the bride’s brother took a photograph of her without his permission
— The shortest celebrity marriage was between Britney Spears and her childhood friend, Jason Alexander, in 2004. Total time between vows and annulment: 55 hours
— Lauren and David Blair, of Tennessee, have renewed their marriage vows 83 times. “We love telling each other we love each other over and over again,” Mr Blair said
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— On Valentine’s Day in 2006, a North Carolina man gave his girlfriend the world’s longest marriage proposal, at 113 pages. She said yes