Sir, We may not be able to stem the decrease in marriage ceremonies (report, Mar 31), but we can halt the increase in divorce. One step is by making marriage guidance compulsory, like driving lessons, at the beginning of the process, not after a breakdown.
As a congregational rabbi, I insist that couples who request a wedding come to marriage preparation sessions about relationships and expectations.
None of them thinks they need any advice, so I start by reminding everyone that one in three marriages ends in divorce and then point to every third person in the room, saying that although they believe it won’t be them, actually it may well be.
Another exercise is a 20-questions test of how well each person knows their intended spouse, with the message that loving someone involves four vital ingredients if it is to endure: to trust, respect, like and know them.
We do a follow-up session a year later to monitor their progress. I am pleased to report a divorce rate of one in 16: still too many, but an improvement on the national average.
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Rabbi Dr Jonathan Romain
Maidenhead Synagogue, Berks