When Jürgen Klinsmann, the German striker, arrived at Tottenham Hotspur in 1994 from AS Monaco, he came with a reputation. Klinsmann was, to put it mildly, a bit of a diver. Not just a buckle-at-the-knee character but a full-on, arched-back, arms-spread, swallow impersonator. English football, the original school of hard knocks, prepared to “welcome” him. And then Klinsmann surprised all with one of the great ice-breaking jokes. At his first press conference he asked if anyone knew of a good North London diving school. It was funny, but it was also a confession. He knew that the British public would not tolerate his theatrics. He celebrated his first goal with a sliding belly flop. But he stopped diving to deceive. And during a single season he became every English football fan’s favourite German.
Unfortunately, the parable of Klinsmann appears to have been forgotten by some of today’s players. Arjen Robben, Chelsea’s Dutch winger, is merely the latest, admittedly extreme, example of shameless play acting soiling the national game. Diving, tumbling, rolling, overreacting: they are all cheating. It is despicable when used to win a decision, unforgivable when designed to get an opponent sent off. The willingness of referees to book divers in recent years has improved matters. And the guilty risk ridicule in the court of public opinion.
But this is insufficient sanction. Football authorities must be allowed to use post-game video evidence to suspend divers. Cheating is not British. Even in the 21st century, the idea of fair play holds. Only, sadly, when cheats face a ban will they comply with the standards that the English game demands.