‘I am usually on my phone ALL. THE. TIME,” Kat Farmer says when we sit down to chat after a couple of phone-free hours posing for our photographer.
As the more devoted among her 273,000 Instagram followers will know, Farmer’s is clad in a case that makes it look like a retro Kodak and features in so many mirror selfies on her feed it’s practically a family member. Yet the phone remains – for now, at least – nowhere to be seen.
I’ve interviewed bloggers who scrolled while answering my questions, digital starlets who have barely met my eye as I’ve quizzed them. I once did a Q&A with a Gen Z A-lister who whatsapped her famous friends throughout, giggling at the private jokes rolling in. All of which makes Farmer, who presumably has her phone stashed away in the very nice Chanel handbag she arrived at our shoot with, something of a class act.
Then again, making people feel like she’s speaking only to them is a key part of her job.
Kat Farmer, 49, is what is known on the internet as a “midfluencer”: a woman, usually over 40, who documents her life and style on social media and makes money doing so through product placements, brand partnerships and sponsored posts. So far, so influencer-ish, you might think: bikini selfies from Dubai and dodgy weight loss gummies. Yet what makes the middies different is their judicious and liberal sprinkling of a now hackneyed concept: “authenticity”.
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Influencers have blow-dries and perfect nails, while a midfluencer might post about the mani she just smudged while helping with her teenager’s homework. Influencers will talk about the latest designer It bag or must-have heels as though they are all the best thing since sliced proverbial. A midfluencer, meanwhile, might be a little more circumspect, featuring less exorbitantly priced items more suited to real life while also chatting jokily about mental health, self-esteem, postnatal depression, the menopause. If none of that sounds very aspirational, so much the better: it means they’re all the more – another buzzword incoming – “relatable”.
By way of an example, when in 2020 the midfluencer Erica Davies (45 and 184,000 followers) hosted an Instagram Live session on the topic of boots, her followers began lamenting how hard it was to find pairs on the high street that fitted wider calfs. Last October, Davies launched a range of wide-fit styles with John Lewis that sold out within 24 hours. Clearly, relatability is good for business.
“When I hear the word influencer, I think of twentysomethings,” says Lucy Owen, the talent agent who has Davies and several more of her ilk on her books. “The women I work with are content creators. Brands used to only work with the hottest, sexiest Hollywood stars – now they’re realising women like Erica have a star power of their own, very different kind.”
That social media comes with none of the usual barriers to access means midfluencers have been able to accrue followers and prove their commercial clout in a way women over 40 rarely have before. In doing so, they are shifting not only shop stock but some of the most entrenched stereotypes around. Never mind lamb, these days you’re more likely to hear about mutton dressed in leopard print.
Between 2001 and 2005, almost half of British Vogue’s cover stars were aged 20 to 30; by 2021, that had dropped to less than a third, as stars between 30 and 50 were given prominence too. Twenty-six per cent of female cover stars between 2016 and 2020 were over 40, compared with only 2 per cent between 2001 and 2005. Midfluencers might once have been mocked as “mummy bloggers”, but they are in the vanguard of visibility when it comes to persuading media gatekeepers to change the way they cast in both advertising and film.
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“It’s all been reconfigured,” says Lucy Owen. “On the internet, life doesn’t stop after 40.”
Farmer, who lives in Kent with her lawyer husband and three teenagers, was among the very first wave of influencers to set up on Instagram nine years ago. Along with the likes of Davies, the beauty expert Caroline Hirons (51 and 681,000 followers), Renia Jaz (56 and 129,000) and Alyson Walsh (58 and 68,500), she has changed the visual landscape for a demographic of women who had fallen off the radar of mainstream advertising and felt uncatered to in shops.
“Affluent women look to these influencers instead of picking up a magazine,” says Vicki Maguire, chief creative officer at ad agency Havas London. “They’re like a really good mate that pushes you into making that purchase.”
“People have to trust you,” Farmer tells me. “They get to know you by you opening up to them. They love talking about skirts and biker jackets, but they love talking about the trouble with their teenagers more.”
Gaining trust in an age of cynicism is no easy task. Indeed, as people avoid adverts on TV and increasingly switch them off online too, it has become something of a commodity. That’s why midfluencers are so valuable to advertisers and why they are so mindful of the communities they have created. There is far more to the job than taking selfies.
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Farmer estimates she spends around six hours every day answering messages on social media. “You can get up to 1,000 messages a day and I try to answer every one. The more responses you send, the more you get. People share such personal things.”
Her shtick might be fashion and style, but her feed shows outfits as she walks her dog, tries to flip pancakes, holds her cousin’s baby. Farmer’s new book, Get Changed: Finding the New You Through Fashion, is full of tips for our wardrobes, but the price of being famous on Instagram (“Like being rich in Monopoly,” she quips) is airing the skeletons in her own. She is frank about her own mental health. She started her styling business when, as a mother of three small children – one of whom is autistic – she left a City job in recruitment and found herself on the edge of a breakdown.
“I wasn’t in a great place. A GP sent me to a psychologist who said I was suffering from loss of identity, which I didn’t even think was a real thing. But it absolutely is for women. You can’t have it all – you can be Jack of all trades and master of none. I felt cheated.
“There are so many massive curve balls life throws at women,” she goes on, “from your body changing after a baby to the menopause.”
Her own was so bad she thought she had early-onset Alzheimer’s, but still didn’t recognise the symptoms for what they were until her doctor explained it.
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“For lots of women, all this comes with a whole identity crisis, so having an amazing wardrobe can make you feel brilliant,” she says. “When I started, I wanted to be a pioneer: someone who could empower women to own how they looked.”
Like her feed, the book aims to address some of the self-esteem, alienation and identity issues many women feel by helping them reappraise the clothes they own and the way they wear them.
“You get to a point in your life where you look in the mirror and think, ‘I don’t recognise that person any more.’ Taking pride in your appearance is seen as a bit shallow, but if you’re having a down day, knowing that you look great when you leave the house is a tiny step in the right direction.”
One wonders when Farmer last had what she describes as a “potato day”, when no matter how many outfits you try your reflection remains distinctly spud-like. There’s nothing wrong with her message, but women have been lured in by self-esteem sirens before. In the Nineties, Hollywood actresses told us about their cabbage soup diets. In the Noughties, it was Victoria’s Secret models’ gym routines. In glamorous midfluencers, have we simply found someone else with whom to compare ourselves unfavourably? Much of Instagram famously doesn’t show the bad days – but Farmer insists she does her best to.
“The first time I put up a photo with no make-up on, the feedback was just amazing – and I looked rough in it. It’s important to present a true representation of how I look. [Otherwise] it’s not relatable.”
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A different term for “relatable” is perhaps a certain performative diffidence that is a midfluencer signature. To wit, Farmer’s Instagram handle is @doesmybumlook40 (reader, it does not). Any woman on the internet knows the danger of not seeming down-to-earth or self-deprecating enough. Does Farmer feel pressure to be ordinary in every post?
“That’s an interesting question,” she says. “No. Yes. No. I am very ordinary. There are elements of my life that are glamorous, but that almost becomes normal in itself when you do it all the time. I have three kids [17, 15 and 13] at three different schools who all need picking up. I’m working all day today and there’ll be no food at home when I get back.”
Perhaps then midfluencers are like those friends for whom you put on extra make-up before meeting up. Even if these women are just another iteration of aspirational consumerism, they remain a world away from the haute sneer that the fashion industry has long been famous for – and which was cultivated by male designers, art directors and CEOs. There is nothing male gaze-ish about midfluencers – in fact, their followers’ husbands are famously scathing of their cartoon brights and man-repelling boilersuits. This is, of course, one more reason why they are such a hit with their followers. “So much of it is joyous,” Farmer explains, “because it’s like having this massive extended group of mates. People send such nice messages; my evenings are just spent chatting with them all... I do have friends in real life too, I promise.”
“These women have spent the past few years honing their voices and personal brands to be straight-talking, and wonderfully not giving a shit,” says Vicki Maguire. “If Caroline [Hirons] tells you to check out a new face cream, you’re going to. If an 18-year-old told me to, I’d tell them to f*** off.”
Likewise, at recent fashion weeks, labels that cater to working women with their own means took care to represent them on their catwalks, with several models over 40 – many over 50 – taking a turn in a way that now feels natural rather than tokenistic.
“I used to think if I walked into certain shops on the high street the alarm would go off,” laughs Kat Farmer. “We used to be consigned to twinsets, pearls and slacks – but we can look how we want, not how the fashion editors dictate.” She pauses. “Although, actually, I quite like pearls and twinsets now.”
Book extract: Tall? Short? My midlife rules
How to dress for your shape, by Kat Farmer
First step is acknowledging the shape that you are. Always remember proportion. It doesn’t matter what your size, it’s thinking about maximising your proportions that counts. Cherry-pick from the categories below to find tips and tricks on how to dress for your shape.
Petite
• Find your favourite retailers that specialise in petite.
• Have a seamstress on speed-dial.
• Remember there are bargains to be found in the children’s section.
• Keep print small – head to toe is a GOOD thing.
• Keep stripes narrow – vertical stripes are also good.
Styles that you should look out for and tips on how to wear them:
• High-waisted trousers elongate your legs.
• Maxi/midiskirts and dresses, but make sure there’s not too much fabric (ensure the fabric is as fluid and unstructured as possible).
• Necklines – depends on your bust, but ideally lower to create more space between your neckline and your neck, which has an elongating effect.
• Footwear – chunky soles, wedges and heels.
• Colour – keep colour tonal. It will add height by not breaking up your silhouette.
• Cheat with big hair!
Tall
• Hunt out retailers that specialise in tall.
• Find a competent seamstress.
• Search for generic retailers that are simply more generous in their cuts.
• Don’t dismiss men’s clothing.
Styles and tricks that you would do well to bear in mind:
• Don’t mind skinnies and leggings that are cropped – think boots/hightops to cover them.
• Become more comfortable with seven-eighth-style trousers and try to work them into your wardrobe if you love wearing trousers.
• Size up so you can wear skirts lower on your hips.
• Sleeves too short? Disguise the gap between fabric and hand with arm candy, the more the merrier: watch/bracelets/cuffs/scarves.
Curve with a bust
Necklines
V-neck, low square or low scoop.
Style of tops
• Wrap top.
• Fitted shirt.
• Peplum top.
Sleeves Avoid a ruffle or frill sleeve.
Dresses The most important point is that they fit and that the neckline works.
Jackets
• Single-breasted.
• Longer line is also a good shout.
Jewellery Distraction is key. Big earrings, layered necklaces.
Stripes
• Keep stripes wide in more fitted clothing.
• Narrow stripes can work, but only in looser items.
Curve with history around the middle – also known as an “apple shape”
Style of tops
• No tees that cling to your middle – ones with side vents are a great option.
• Remember that the half-tuck can also be your friend.
• Fitted shirts that fit.
• Tunics or blouses, swing versions are ideal, not too loose and not too long.
Jumpers and sweatshirts Ideally, ones that have a gathered/elasticated waistband OR are oversized are your friends (depending on the rest of your outfit).
Shoulder pads Get with the shoulder pad programme.
Dresses
• With a natural fixed waist.
• Loose and floaty – worn loose or with a belt. NOT a fabric belt. Thicker and elastic or a fixed-waist belt are preferable.
• Fitted.
Skirts
• Sturdy waistbands, not thin elastic. Fixed is best.
• No pleats from the waistband.
• A-line skirts.
Jumpsuits
• With either elasticated or drawstring waists.
Trousers
• You can wear skinnies but try balancing at the bottom with a chunky boot or shoe.
• Wide-leg trousers but always FLAT-FRONTED ones.
Jackets and coats
• Avoid double-breasted.
• Fitted coats, jackets and blazers.
• Long and fluid.
• Epaulettes.
Curve with extra loving around the booty and thighs – also known as a “pear shape”
Dresses
• With fuller skirts.
• Shirt dresses.
Tops
• Think about making your shoulders look broader.
• Embrace shoulder pads.
Trousers
• Wide-leg trousers and culottes.
• Boyfriend jeans.
• Barrel-leg jeans.
Jackets and coats
• Cropped.
• Double-breasted.
• Trench with cape top and/or epaulettes.
• Belted coats.
Skinny
• Add extra dimension to your shape by layering clothes. Not always bulky layers – long, fluid lines will be just as effective.
• The more accessories the merrier. Add large statement accessories or layer finer jewellery to “bulk up” your look.
• Think fuller skirts, shoulder pads and oversized coats to add shape.
• If you want to wear one colour, think about shape and texture to add “bulk”. Mixing colours is a good idea, as is blending different fabrics and textures.
Extracted from Get Changed: Finding the New You Through Fashionby Kat Farmer, which is published by Mitchell Beazley on March 31 (£20)
Shoot credit
Hair and make-up Joe Pickering at Carol Hayes Management using Sisley and Color Wow
