Witter: What are you doing now?
JW: Sitting in the Today office wishing I’d thought of better questions, better ripostes, better ways of handing over to Garry and the sport.
Are those links scripted?
There are scripts and there are moments of madness when they get lost or drenched
in coffee.
You’ve been back from the US for nearly a year. Did you find the UK had changed much?
It’s easier to get a coffee. But everyone’s drunk. In the US, to have one drink at lunchtime is to be a lush. Here people fall over in the street...
Isn’t that American puritanism a pain? You can’t have a drink at lunchtime, but it’s ok to buy a machinegun.
A sober, law-abiding person with a gun might (they would say) be less of a threat than a drunk Englishman with a broken bottle.
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Wasn’t it always like that? Or were you too drunk to notice?
Fair point. Actually, at my Quaker school in the ’70s we’d get blind drunk on Somerset cider so, oh God, you’re right.
How are you coping with the early starts — and spending so much time with John Humphrys?
Early starts are ok; I value the early finishes. Spending time with John is like plugging yourself into the National Grid. The energy flows.
Do you think the Today programme turns people off with its early-morning, high-octane aggro?
The nation loves a punch-up when the cause is a good one.
What’s been your worst moment on air?
When I presented breakfast TV I asked David Blunkett (in a studio somewhere) if he could see me.
How long do you think the coalition will last?
Three years, two months and seven days.
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Is there anything honest about the coalition — or is it simply about the pursuit of power?
Blimey, too deep for a Today presenter in his first year in the job. Can’t pursuit of power be honest?
You come across as a goody two-shoes. Ever been in trouble?
No. The world needs more goody two-shoes, fewer obnoxious creeps thinking their coolness is best served by causing distress to others.
Do you think licence-fee payers should be told the salaries of “talent” — ie, presenters like you?
No. I may well earn more than John Humphrys. What if he found out? It would
be dangerous.