The selected titles drop more or less neatly into three categories: Christmas offerings from television comedians, books of amazing facts that straddle science and light entertainment, and books that hope they are the popular little brother of The Dangerous Book for Boys.
Let’s start with the amazing facts. Most of these titles have been inspired by the surprise hit of last year, Does Anything Eat Wasps?, a collection of readers’ answers to light-hearted inquiries in New Scientist magazine. The authentic sequel is Why Don’t Penguins’ Feet Freeze? (Profile £7.99), which tackles not only the problem of penguins and their feet (it’s all to do with blood circulation) but the mystery of why mucus is green (a mixture of blue bacteria and yellow bacteria).
If you have no interest in mucus but are agog to learn about the penis of the European earwig, you should turn to The Book of General Ignorance (Faber £12.99). This is a spin-off from BBC2’s QI, which, in the spirit of that programme, has collected some facts you thought you knew but probably got wrong. Frankly, there are some of us who couldn’t possibly be mistaken about the European earwig’s penis as we have never given it a moment’s thought, but apparently he has two: just in case he loses one, which in the fast-moving world of the modern earwig is all too easily done.
Moths that Drink Elephants’ Tears (Portrait £9.99) is the sort of book you might find in David Attenborough’s downstairs lavatory. It specialises in facts you never knew you wished to know about animals. This includes the revelation that penguin faeces leave the creature under an average pressure of 60 kilopascals. Not only will this prove invaluable the next time you enter a pub quiz on the South Pole, but it’s handy for penguins, too: this mechanism keeps their little bottoms clean.
It’s the sort of snippet the late Linda Smith might have enjoyed. Tributes to the comedian and many of her best lines are included in The Very Best of Linda Smith edited by Warren Larkin and Ian Parsons (Hodder £17.99), even though the printed page could never do her justice. Bare words don’t capture her characteristic delivery — a combination of the world-weary battling against the optimistic. “Erith isn’t twinned with anywhere,” she said of her home town, “but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham.”
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At least Smith’s fans were sure she existed, which is more than you can say for Karl Pilkington. Officially, he is the producer of The Ricky Gervais Show on Xfm radio. But there is the suspicion that he has been created by Gervais and co-presenter Steven Marchant for their successful podcast. Real or not, Karl is an innocent savant whose observations on life include: “You never see old men eating Twix.” (So what? You never see anybody eating Twix.) The best of his podcast appearances have been collected in The World of Karl Pilkington (Fourth Estate £10).
Some comedians want to play Hamlet, but Jimmy Carr obviously fancies himself as Freud. He is the co-author with Lucy Greeves of The Naked Jape (M Joseph £12.99), which not only makes you laugh but also tries to explain how it’s done and why you might be laughing. He examines the structure of humour, racial humour, political humour and how children learn jokes. And he slips in the odd one-liner. “When I was a kid, I told my mother I want to grow up and be a comedian,” he says. She replied: “You can’t do both.”
Well, Mrs Carr, it could be worse. Your son could be the author of Toilets of the World by Morna E Gregory and Sian James (Merrell £9.95). As you might expect, it is a selection of the world’s lavatories, all lovingly photographed and catalogued: from the loos of Limpopo to the urinal in Tokyo that booms out, “That’s a nice one you have!” when you’ve finished.
211 Things a Bright Boy Can Do by Tom Cutler (HarperCollins £10.99) gives instructions on how to impress women and remove your pants without taking off your trousers — but it completely fails to warn that these should not be attempted at the same time. Like The Dangerous Book for Boys, but with less danger and more practical jokes, it is very silly, and made me laugh a lot. There is an invaluable section about teaching your dog to be a mind-reader, and among the 211 things you can do is a trick with beer cans to make friends think there’s been an earthquake in the night. If you have an amusing friend who is given this book for Christmas, move house and leave no forwarding address.
Top five
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THE NAKED JAPE
by Jimmy Carr and Lucy Greeves
M Joseph £12.99
A look at the mechanics of humour that will also make you laugh
211 THINGS A BRIGHT BOY CAN DO
by Tom Cutler
HarperCollins £10.99
Tricks with underpants and beer cans — silly but very funny
THE VERY BEST OF LINDA SMITH
edited by Warren Larkin and Ian Parsons
Hodder £17.99
Tributes to the much-loved comedian and a selection of some of her best lines
WHY DON’T PENGUINS’ FEET FREEZE?
Profile £7.99 Ever wondered why mucus is yellow? This book will tell you (and it answers the feet question)
TOILETS OF THE WORLD
by Morna E Gregory and Sian James
Merrell £9.95 From the loos of Limpopo to a urinal that admires your manhood
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Bestsellers
1 Is It Just Me Or Is Everything Shit? by Steve Lowe and Alan McArthur (Time Warner) 125,428
2 And Another Thing by Jeremy Clarkson (M Joseph) 43,937
3 The World of Karl Pilkington (Fourth Estate) 33,124
4 Oor Wullie (DC Thomson) 30,625
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5 Talk to the Hand by Lynne Truss (Profile) 30,287
Available at Books First prices (inc p&p) on 0870 165 8585