Life as a Barclays Premier League footballer must be complicated. There is training, of course, but consider all the computer games to play, the Instagram posts to file and, let’s not forget, the much-famed “banter” to indulge in.
But what about those mundane, everyday things? Food shopping, watering the plants, feeding the pets, remembering to buy mum a present for Mother’s Day. How does this tally with a footballer’s lifestyle?
Jermain Defoe, the Sunderland striker, has found the answer. He’s going to get someone else to do it all for him.
Defoe has advertised for an “Executive Personal Assistant”, via the Secs in the City website, with the aim of finding someone to “create a global brand for the Jermain Defoe name”.
All of which sounds very grand, but the assistant will also have to run, as they are described on the 649-word job advert, “errands”. These include: “organising all Jermain’s personal needs”, including dry-cleaning and “sourcing interior designers”; “regularly checking the home when Jermain is away, making sure all is in place for his return, ie fridge is stocked and plants watered”; and booking spa days, cinema trips and family outings.
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The advert also states that the successful applicant will be responsible for “managing and organising individual family members”, including Defoe’s mother, Sandra, and help to plan “yearly calendar events”, including Mother’s Day, Christmas, and Bonfire Night.
With an eye on the future, Defoe’s assistant will get to work on “potential projects”, including creating a new, personalised clothing line and fragrance. Presumably, Sunderland fans will hope the perfume is called “scent of goals”.
Supporters on Wearside may be interested to note that the location for the role - for which the salary is described as “competitive” - is listed as London, not Sunderland. Defoe recently denied suggestions that he was looking for a move away from the Stadium of Light.
It would seem a high level of response was expected as the advert, posted on Monday morning, is due to expire on the same day.
But with the final line of the advert stressing, in bold text, that the chosen candidate “must be on call 24/7”, they’d better hope that the former England striker doesn’t get a craving for something not in his fridge at 3am.
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