TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES (12A)
Director: Jonathan Mostow, 2003
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nick Stahl, Claire Danes
THE STUNTS are bigger. The robots are meaner. And the special effects are designed to turn your hair grey, but otherwise it is business as usual for the world’s wittiest cyborg.
Ten years have passed since Arnie crunched the last killing machine sent back from the future. His joints are stiffer, his circuits prone to splutter, and the leather biking gear is starting to look unfashionably camp. But Connor, Stahl’s puny, bewildered drifter, is still the last hope for the human race (God knows why) and Arnie has to save him from yet another super-sophisticated vacuum cleaner in order to rescue mankind from extinction. Yes, it’s an exact blueprint of T2. But why terminate junk when you can recycle it for more millions of dollars?
Kristanna Loken’s T-X cyborg (the Terminatrix) can knock Arnie’s robotic talents into a cocked hat. She inflates her breasts to impress traffic cops. She sprouts chainsaws and bazookas from her right fist. And her skin grows back when ripped off. There is almost a sexual frisson in the way Arnie talks up the talents of his latest adversary. She has Destiny on her side. Arnie has dodgy software and a cool pair of shades.
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The truck chases and shoot-outs are smashingly expensive. Danes, Connor’s new girlfriend, shrieks as if she is in a King Kong movie while Connor himself is lugged from one crisis to another like a useless piece of baggage. It is great fun.
On general release (Rating: 3/5)