The FBI has smashed a suspected network of Russian spies who lived as married couples in suburban America. So could your dad be a spy, too? Chloe Lambert reveals the tell-tale signs . . .
Does he love sunglasses?
In this sunny weather your dad may get away with dark shades. But keep an eye on him in the winter months — if he still insists on sunglasses when you’re sitting round the dinner table on Christmas Day, alarm bells should be ringing. Secret agents often wear sunglasses so they have a clear vision of what people are doing and no one can see where they are looking. He’s worth investigating.
Is he brilliant at chess?
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Spies tend to be talented at maths and at games such as chess that involve the sort of strategic skills associated with code-breaking and espionage. You need only watch From Russia With Love, in which an evil Czech chess grandmaster wreaks his revenge on James Bond, to know that. It’s your move.
Check his gadgets Many dads have a special fountain pen that they keep in their study, out of their children’s reach. Ask to borrow it. If you accidentally shoot yourself in the toe, it’s no ordinary pen. Look out also for shoes with unusually big heels and chewing gum that tastes like fireworks.
Is he boring?
If a spy wants to keep up his secret double life, he needs to draw as little attention to himself as possible. Does your dad’s job sounds mind-numbingly humdrum? Does he bore you to tears talking about his argument with the neighbour about the garden fence? Does he have very few friends? Then he could be a spy, just like Arnie in True Lies, who tells his family that he’s a salesman. Warning: Don’t jump to conclusions. Dad may actually be just a bit dull.
Does he go away “on business”?
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Next time your dad has a conference in Basingstoke, watch him closely when he gets back home. If he has a tan, a new scar and a wad of cash in his briefcase, something may be afoot.
Make your own invisible ink
Play your dad at his own game and leave a cryptic message for him using this home-made invisible ink.
Put some lemon juice in a small bottle. To write an invisible note, dip a toothpick in the lemon juice and write your message on a piece of paper. If your dad is a real James Bond, not just an Austin Powers, he’ll know to heat the paper over a light bulb, against a radiator or under a cool iron to read your note.