Yesterday, Penguin announced that it had teamed up with the computer games software company Ubisoft to release a novel based on the lead character from its hit title Assassin’s Creed. How long before the games company dips into the respected publisher’s classics?
Jane Eyre: Gold Digger
Charlotte Bront?’s classic gets a Tomb Raider-style makeover. Instead of a pneumatic Home Counties babe hunting for treasure, a frumpy northern lass must pull a rich landowner. First unseat Mr Rochester from his horse by dodging left and right, Frogger-style, until he falls. Then find the fire buckets concealed around Thornfield to douse flames as they erupt from the bed. Finallyout The Mad Bitch in the Attic to rescue Mr Rochester and win the game.
Yorkshire Pac-man
Wuthering Heights, Emily Bront?’s tale of suffocating obsession, is revived as the maze classic. Playing Heathcliff, you move around the Moors snaffling little yellow hearts, while being chased by evil Edgars and Hindleys. Eat enough and they are transformed into Cathy’s ghost.
Miner 1889er
Zola’s Germinal, about a French town riven by bitter strike, becomes an anarchic Miner 49er. Gather stale baguettes dropped by the callous mine-owner and throw garlic at the police. Locate Maigrat the meanie’s severed penis for extra points.
Galaxy Quest
Francis Ford Coppola transported Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness to ’Nam with Apocalypse Now, so why not a stellar shoot-out? Build a spaceship and blow away the shapeshifting zombie cannibals as you navigate the universe in search of lost earth starship commander Kurtz, who has taken over the tiny planet Cong.
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Lust N Dust
D. H. Lawrence’s Women in Love translates as a Street Fighter style beat-’em-up. Customise your avatar to play Gerald Crich or Rupert Birkin and wrestle for supremacy in a front of a roaring fireplace. Finally, against a stunning alpine backdrop, take down the evil feminist boss “Gudrun”.