Eddie 'the Eagle' Edwards finishes last at the Winter Olympic Games in Calgary. The Cheltenham plasterer had only declared himself a national ski jumper in 1987, in a country with no ski jumps and almost no snow. Officials accused him of making a mockery of the sport, but the public loved him: with his goofy grin and bottle-bottomed glasses he was Mr Magoo on skis. He released a single and a book, and a film about his life was mooted. But he failed to appear at future games under the new 'Eddie the Eagle Rule': to qualify, jumpers must be in the top 30% in international events.
THE PRICE OF EVERYTHING
How much is... a manicure?
Australia Hollywood Hands, Melbourne — £12.30
Singapore Hollywood Nails — £5.83
Switzerland Florida Nails, Zurich — £26.79
UK America Nail Fashions, London — £10
France Hollywood Nails, Paris — £13.86
USA LA Nails, Los Angeles — £3.72
Germany Hollywood Nails, Aschersleben — £12.13
BYSTANDER: On the edge of history
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On February 14, 1876, an inventor from Ohio, Elisha Gray, contacted the Washington patent office about his work-in-progress: the telephone. He applied for a caveat — a formal notice that he would be filing a patent application for his invention within three months. But he was already too late. Hours earlier on the same day, another inventor, Alexander Graham Bell, had applied for a patent, also for the telephone. Bell was awarded the patent, but Gray smelt a rat, and years of litigation followed. Although Bell emerged victorious, it transpired that Gray's suspicions were well founded: the apparatus described in his caveat would have actually worked, unlike that described in Bell's.
A patent-office official later confessed to having told Bell about Gray's plans, which Bell incorporated into his own. Nevertheless, Gray was not left entirely empty-handed: Bell bought out Gray's patent and agreed that the latter's firm, Western Electric, would make the equipment for the Bell Telephone Company. Gray continued to file for patents for inventions, including one for an early version of the fax machine. He died in Newtonville, Massachusetts, in 1901. A note found among his belongings revealed his enduring bitterness at being overlooked. It read: "The history of the telephone will never be fully written . . . it is partly lying on the hearts and consciences of a few whose lips are sealed."
ROOTFINDER
"White elephant"
'White elephant' is used to describe something useless that will become a burden to its owner. The expression originated in Thailand Ð or Siam, as it was then known. Here, white elephants were so highly coveted that they automatically belonged to the king. However, it was a serious offence to ride one or put one to work. As they were of no practical use, the king of Siam gave them as a royal gift to anyone who displeased him. The beast had to be cared for but could not be made to pay its way, so such gifts could ruin a man financially. When the phrase arrived in England in the mid-18th century, the empire builders applied it to expensive but otherwise useless public buildings or monuments.
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From Red Herrings and White Elephants: The Origins of the Phrases We Use Every Day, by Albert Jack (Metro Publishing, £9.99)
ENDPIECE
Death by uncontrollable mirth
Sir Thomas Urquhart (1611-60) was a Scotsman born with a silver spoon in his mouth who spent much of his life enduring its gradual removal. After studying, he travelled across Europe and came home to try to rescue his family estate from his father's profligacy. Urquhart fought for Charles I against the Covenanters at the Battle of Turriff in 1639, but defeat saw him flee to London. Twelve years later he fought in the Battle of Worcester, in which Oliver Cromwell defeated Charles II. After a brief spell as a prisoner of war, Urquhart learnt that his property had been seized. His literary career failed to improve his lot: titles such as Logopandecteision, in which he proposed a new language, failed to fly off the bookshelves. On hearing of Charles II's restoration to the throne, he lost his grip. He collapsed in a fit of hysterical laughter that only ended when he dropped down dead.