Monday through Friday I have three alarm clocks set for 4.30am. I hit the snooze button for, like, 30 minutes, but I’m always up by 5 and the first thing I do is take my adorable mini goldendoodle, Teddy Hilton, out to go tinkle. I live in an apartment in central Los Angeles — not quite Beverly Hills, not quite West Hollywood. I guess it’s Miracle Mile, a non-sexy area of LA.
After I’ve walked the dog I check my emails very briefly, then, at 5.20am, I start making radio calls. I record a syndicated daily gossip featurette that goes to over 100 stations in the US and Canada, and I call in live to New York, LA and Chicago between 5.20 and 6 every morning. I used to work from a coffee shop on the corner of Sunset and Fairfax, because I didn’t have internet connection at home. Now, at 6am, I hit my La-Z-Boy recliner, which my mother forced me to buy, and I’m there with my feet up and my MacBook Pro on my lap for 12 or 14 hours a day.
I wear my pyjama bottoms and a T-shirt, and I have a shawl I love to wrap around myself and over my head like a comfort blanket.
I work nonstop, writing captions, responding to emails, finding the hot gossip of the day. Last year it was all about the cheating scandals. Extramarital affairs, I love those. This year I’ve had the Real Housewives and half the cast of Dancing with the Stars trying to get me to post things on the site. But I don’t care enough. I get a lot of celebrities pitching themselves. People like Spencer Pratt — from MTV’s The Hills — and Heidi Montag. They’d rather be talked about than not. I like that they play the game. Fame has become more attainable, if you’re pretty enough and thin enough. But instead of 15 minutes, it lasts about 15 seconds. It’s tough.
People tip me off a lot, but unless there’s photographic evidence I won’t go with something that a random reader tells me. A lot of my stories come from friends and trusted sources. I can never predict what’s going to happen and that’s what’s so exciting. A great day is when a celebrity gets arrested or behaves inappropriately and I’ll either post a story or a link on Twitter and wait for the fallout.
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Fame has become more attainable, if you’re pretty enough and thin enough. But instead of 15 minutes it only lasts about 15 seconds. It’s tough
If I’m really tired I’ll have a sugar-free Red Bull around 7am.
I used to eat all the time, unhealthy things, insanely large portions. Now I get my meals delivered and I eat at exactly the same time every day. I never weigh myself — I don’t care about numbers — my goal is to look good naked.
I have half my breakfast at 7, which might be a quesadilla or an egg dish, and the other half at 10. Then I have half my lunch at noon and the other half at 1, dinner at 4.30 and a snack and dessert at 7.15. I get really excited at what might be in the carton, then when it’s something I don’t love, like french toast, I think: “‘Eewww! I hope I don’t get that again.”
I don’t have time to cook. I don’t even have time to go grocery shopping. I literally am the busiest person I know. I work every waking moment, and I’m not exaggerating. I don’t watch any TV at all. I don’t read newspapers. My world is the internet and if something is worthy of me being aware of it, I’m aware of it. I love being controversial, but I’ve grown over the years. I don't push buttons these days like I used to. I’ve become happier in my own life.
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I don’t even care that much about Rumer Willis now! Over the past three years I’ve done a lot of things to make myself happy. I moved my mom and my sister, Barbara, from Miami to LA to work with me. I sleep more and travel less. I work out and eat healthier. All of these things have made a big difference.
I started the website because I’m a fan. And I’m still an interloper. There are parties I’m not invited to, venues I’m not welcome at, and I’m fine with that. It’s not like I care if people hate me, because Perez Hilton is a character. He’s just an extension of Mario, who grew up in a nice part of Miami and worked hard at school. Mario comes across when I post about the music I love and the charities I think my readers should be aware of. Mario posts about things close to my heart, like politics and gay rights and Latino causes. I’m letting more and more of him in.
I have meetings from around 4.30 to 6 or 7, then I’ll work out. I do spinning classes, pilates and yoga. I have two personal trainers, but I still feel like a fat boy and I think I always will. I’m a food addict. What can I say? Cuban food is real greasy and my whole family is large. I like to be in bed by 10pm weekdays, but I make a point of having a social weekend. I don’t have a partner, but I’m very open to one. I’m not picky. I like desperate and easy. I just assume men want to use me and I’m happy to use them back.
I take the dog out again last thing, then I clean and spritz my face and I go to sleep in moments with Teddy at my feet.