Bob Geldof’s eldest daughter has spoken for the first time of her battle with depression and of her family’s struggle to cope with the death this year of her younger sister.
Fifi Geldof, who has lost both her mother, Paula Yates, and sister Peaches to heroin overdoses, said that her clinical depression began when she 11, during her parents’ acrimonious divorce.
Ms Geldof, 31, said she had gone from being a “generally happy child” to waking up “crying about everything and nothing”.
“It wasn’t a slow and gentle descent into depression,” she said. “Something totally switches in your mind. I’m still trying to work out what’s wrong with me now.”
Ms Geldof, who works in public relations and has recently become engaged, said that she had never spoken to her father about her condition.
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She has also spoken openly of her family’s struggles after the divorce of her parents two decades ago.
Her mother’s lover, Michael Hutchence, died in 1997, and Yates died in 2000. Peaches Geldof was found dead at the age of 25 in April this year, after a heroin overdose at the home she shared with her husband and two young children.
Fifi Geldof said that her sister “knew more than anyone else in the family” about her depression.
“Peaches’ death is like a piece of me that has been taken. A piece of my heart and soul has gone,” she said. “Peaches and I were quite similar, mostly in our feelings about stuff that went on that we bonded over.”
She added that the death of her sister had forced her to take more “responsibility” for her family. “Mum’s gone, Peaches has now gone; there are people more important to me than myself to take care of.
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“Dad has been wonderful with us but, with the whole Peaches thing, I know he is not able to take care of himself entirely at the moment. And because of that he can’t take care of us, so I need to step up and take care of him, take care of [her younger sisters Pixie and Tiger-Lily] and just make sure it’s all as smooth and hurt-free as it can be at the moment.”
Her father, who is 62, has previously spoken of his own “universes of grief”.
Ms Geldof revealed that, after her parents separated, she, Peaches and Pixie had several court-ordered sessions with a therapist who in her case diagnosed clinical depression.
“I kept it to myself,” she said. “I always have done. I never expressly told my parents. Dad doesn’t know. I wouldn’t talk to him about it now. I don’t have that relationship with my family. I don’t want to tell anyone because I didn’t understand it myself.”
During one of her lowest periods, after the death of her mother, Ms Geldof began drinking to excess and dabbling in drugs. She said that she still missed her mother, despite their not being “close” at the time of her death.
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“We had a tempestuous relationship to say the least,” she told The Mail on Sunday. “I don’t think I knew her that well.”
She said that she had decided to speak about her depression after the suicide last month of Robin Williams. “It’s the silent killer,” she said. “Everyone has the ability to kill themselves. It just takes one instance to flip you into the wrong state of mind.
“I have thought about, but never attempted, suicide. I wouldn’t. I’m aware, even in the pit of my depression, there are people that would hurt. And, quite frankly, there’s been enough death in our family.”