It occurred to me as I watched the Lions thrash the Springboks at Ellis Park, Johannesburg, in the final test this summer (a dead rubber, but who cares?), that there probably isn't anything better than following your country to victory in some far-off land.
And if the far-off land is South Africa, better still.
Over a very long weekend, I had lunch in a Soweto pub, I bought a suitcase full of ingenious toys made out of coat hangers, I felt enraged all over again at the wonderful Hector Pieterson Museum and I drank myself into what would have been an embarrassing stupor, if everyone else hadn't been in the same condition already.
In the wee small hours I think I may even have told James Hook that I loved him, when we were lucky/stupid enough to move on to the club where the squad was celebrating. That was the Lions Tour, which is a pretty epic event. It isn't, however, quite as epic as the World Cup.
You should be ready. You should have spoken to your children and your wife (or possibly your football-hating husband) and your bank manager (you need a loan for that dental work, remember?). You need to be ready, but you mustn't book yet.
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So when do I book?
There is something of a catch-22 when it comes to next year's World Cup. The final draw isn't until December 4. Only at this point will we know which of the 32 teams are playing in which of the 10 stadiums.
Strategically, you should wait to book your trip until then. However, this is the World Cup. Everything will be chock-full by then, so you'll be struggling with sky-high prices and Joseph-and-Mary-style lack of room at the inn. Once you've decided you're going, you need to start making inquiries.
Can't I go independent?
Even now, trying to go independent is near impossible. First, you have to get your ticket through a ballot. Then you have to book a flight (the cost of seats to anywhere sensible on key dates is already running into the thousands) and Fifa has block-booked hotels as far away as Mauritius (a four-hour flight from Johannesburg) because of availability issues in South Africa.
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Then you have to get from game to game. South Africa is a wonderful country, but it has its bad parts. You driving from Cape Town to Jo'burg via the Transkei in an Avis two-door is not a good idea. This is not Germany.
So I'm stuck with a package holiday?
Ever since I took a packaged day trip to Egypt ("Welcome to the Great Pyramid of Giza, one of the wonders of the ancient world. Can you all be back on the coach in 20 minutes?"), I have had something of an aversion to the package holiday.
But with sports tours, particularly South African ones, they're not simply your only sensible option - they're fun. And you can let them worry about getting you to (and, more importantly, from) the game.
The two largest official companies selling packages are Thomson Sport (which includes the more corporate-facing Sportsworld) and Thomas Cook. Both have already secured flights and hotels, and they can get you the golden tickets.
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Crucially, you will pay the face-value price (no tout/eBay bidding frenzies here). They're adopting different approaches to our when-to-book dilemma.
Thomson Sport is using a base-camp strategy for most of its packages. You'll be in Cape Town for a minimum of 18 nights. This is clearly a far nicer base than Jo'burg (and will keep the football widow happy if you're bringing her, or indeed him, along), but seven out of 10 of the stadium venues are within four hours' drive of Jo'burg. This is why Thomas Cook - which is yet to put its packages on sale - intends to make its base camp there.
There are two other official Fifa operators offering tailor-made packages - Keith Prowse (0845 602 8900, keithprowse.co.uk) and BAC Sport (020 7456 7100, www.bacsport.co.uk) - but both have yet to confirm details. You can register with both, the latter for a fee of £25, and they will contact you when things are firmed up.
So which one should I go for?
Too early to bet on the last two, but worth talking to the first two now. You will have plenty of time kicking around between matches if you're there for all of the group stage - or even the whole 31-day competition.
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Johannesburg isn't a great base, but you can add safaris in Kruger and day trips to the amazing Soweto township. Thomas Cook also plans to have a shorter trip (five nights there, seven nights away) just in case you can't bunk off for 18 days.
If you base yourself in Cape Town, with Thomson, for the group stage, you'll get only one (or even zero) England games in the city. For the other two or three, you risk having to take internal flights. But this is Thomson's problem, not yours.
What's the damage?
Prices fluctuate hugely depending on which games you want to see and where you want to sit in the stadium. Fifa sells Team Specific Tickets (TSTs). A TST3 for England (meaning you watch all three of England's group matches) costs about £160 for seats behind the goals or in the corners. A TST7 (meaning you follow England, or whoever beats them - as if that's going to happen - through all seven matches to the final) costs nearer £1,680 for decent pitchside seats.
Thomson Sport's package prices (excluding the tickets) for the group stage start at £3,999 for 18 nights, including hotels, flights, transfers and a safari (0845 121 2018, thomsonsport.com).
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If you're flash and you're convinced England are going all the way, Sportsworld (01235 555844, sportsworld.co.uk) will get you to the semi-final in Cape Town and the final in Jo'burg from £4,554, including four-star hotels, international and domestic flights and transfers, but not match tickets. The tickets, with full hospitality, cost another £4,900.
Thomas Cook is yet to confirm final details of its packages, which will go on sale soon after the Croatia game this week. Prices are expected to start at £2,600 for a seven-night trip, with flights, transfers and accommodation. This would include one England group game, but it will also have "World Cup Experience" packages that will enable footie fans to catch a game a day, even if England aren't playing.
Come on, Costa Rica!
What do you mean you don't like football?
The World Cup might be getting all the attention, but there are four other big events being held in 2010.
The Winter Olympics, Vancouver, February 12-28
With only 23 weeks to go before the start of the XXI Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games, tickets, especially for the alpine events in Whistler, are like hens' teeth. If, however, you contact the official outlet Sportsworld (01235 555844, sportsworld.co.uk), you might be lucky. Its packages start at £1,160, excluding flights and event tickets.
Superbowl XLIV, Miami, February 7
It's the 10th time in the Superbowl's 44-year history that it's been to sunny Miami, but if you think you can just go online and buy one of the 75,540 tickets, you're dead wrong. They were snapped up months ago, but Sport Events Travel (01543 258631, sportseventstravel.co.uk) is offering a four-night trip for £3,449, including flights, transfers, accommodation and upper-level end-zone tickets.
The Tour de France, Rotterdam, July 3
Christian Prudhomme, the Tour director, is keeping shtoom about the route of the 2010 tour, except to reveal that Le Grand Départ will be in Rotterdam. A double aboard the SS Rotterdam (00 31 10 297 30 90, cruisehotel.nl) - newly reopened as a floating hotel - is £130 a night. Returns to Rotterdam are £95 with Transavia (transavia.com).
The Ashes, November 25-January 7, 2011
History can't repeat itself, can it? The series starts, as in 2007, at the Gabba in Brisbane, and ends six weeks later in Sydney. Tours start at £2,125 with Gulliver's Sports Travel (01684 293175, gulliverstravel.co.uk), including flights, transfers, accommodation and match tickets, but if you can't wait until November, head to the West Indies in the first fortnight in May for the World Twenty20 tournament. Gulliver's packages start at £1,650.